Still Waiting
by cr8vgrl
Summary: Her life has been about waiting. Waiting to die, waiting to love. An accident takes away her voice, but gives her another, amazing talent that touches hearts, even a heart that everyone had deemed untouchable. But she is still waiting. Always waiting.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello everyone! Here's the prologue for a new story of mine. Let me know what you think!**

The evening air was polluted with the horrible sound of a bow, dragging far too slowly across the strings of a violin. Birds perched on a tree next to the window where the sound had come from scattered in fright, only to settle back down on the branches once more. The person within groaned and stomped her foot in frustration. She had been working on the piece for almost an hour and _still_ could not produce anything useful, or remotely pleasing to the ear. She set down the bow of her instrument and took the shoulder rest off of the violin. For today, she was done. If she looked at another note, she was going to either get sick, get angry, or start to cry, and she didn't want any of those options. There was a knock on her bedroom door and she strode to the door and opened it.

Her sister, Emma, stood there, with her fingers in her ears. "Is it over?" she teased. "Please, Kinny, tell me it's over."

Kintra Philips nodded. "Yes," she said. "It's over." She shook her head in wonderment. "Can you please tell me why our parents deem it so important for us to play musical instruments?"

Emma shrugged. "They want us to have well rounded experiences of life," she said.

"Wow," her older sister teased. "That's almost philosophical. For that, I think we could convince mom to take us to get some ice cream if we pay for hers, don't you think?"

"Definitely," he sister replied and scurried off down the hall.

Kintra walked down the stairs and went to find her mom. As usual, the latter was in the kitchen, apron donned, looking very much like one of those women from the Depression era. And Kintra loved her for it. Kintra walked up behind her mom, but before she reached her, a bought of blurriness hit her eyes and her hand shot out to grab onto something. Her mother heard the noise and whirled around. "Kinny, are you alright?" she cried worriedly.

The blurriness faded and Kintra nodded. "Yep," she replied. "I was just on my way down to see if Emma and I could cajole you into coming with us for a ride to the ice cream shop." Kintra's mom smiled. Kintra always had loved using "big" words and she used them to let her family know that she was back to her usual self.

Kintra's mother wiped her hands of her apron and then took the piece of cloth off. "Why not?" she asked. "After all, what kind of mom would I be if I let my children eat dinner before dessert?"

Kintra smiled as her mom placed an arm around her shoulder lovingly. "Not a very good one," she teased back.

Emma joined them and the three girls almost ran out the door to claim the front seat. Now that Emma was thirteen, the shotgun seat was no longer Kintra's understood seat. It had to be shared every once in a while. "Go ahead," Kintra told her sister, waving toward the passenger seat.

Her mom glanced over at her, worried. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Kintra nodded, trying to smile brightly. "I'm fine," she told her mom, "honest." But in reality, she was being anything but honest, for the blurriness was making it hard to live a normal life, the bruises were marring her body, and the medication made her feel sick. The only bright spot that Kintra hung on to was that even though she was battling leukemia, the treatments didn't make her hair fall out. But everything else held no bright spot.

She tried to concentrate on her mom and sister as she stepped into the back seat of the van, listening to them talking cheerfully. Emma, three years younger than Kintra, was a sweet girl who loved her sister very much. When Kintra had been diagnosed with leukemia, Emma had been inconsolable. She had cried longer than Kintra herself had. Then there was her mother. Kintra smiled unconsciously as she thought about her mother. Kintra's mom was the strongest person Kintra had ever known. She dealt with the two girls all by herself when Kintra's father was away on his extended business trips, she helped Emma with her homework, and she nursed Kintra whenever the sixteen-year-old fell ill because of the treatments. Kintra smiled once more. Definitely the strongest person she knew.

The girls arrived at the ice cream shop and stepped inside, already overwhelmed by all the smells coming from the shop. Family owned, it was one of the best places in the world to come since they baked all sorts of treats to go along with the ice cream they made. Kintra and Emma struggled with the combinations they wanted, never having the same one if they could help it. Their mother shook her head, watching with a smile as her girls bent their heads together in order to discuss certain flavors. With Kintra having dark auburn hair and Emma having a light blonde, the girls stood out when they were together, but by their faces, you knew them to be sisters.

"If it isn't my favorite customers!" said a voice. The girls stopped midsentence and looked up to see who had spoken. There stood a tall elderly man with a huge white apron to cover his clothes and almost white hair.

"Hi grandpa!" Emma chirped. She always loved to come and see her grandfather, probably because he let her taste as many samples of ice cream as she wanted.

"Hello, angel," he said, using his nickname for her. He looked up a little ways to make eye contact with Kintra. "And how are you today, my dear?" The laugh lines around his face had shifted to worry lines, and Kintra once again felt guilty for worrying her family. But, she would always tell herself that there was nothing she could do about it. She certainly hadn't planned to have her genetic mutations turn out for the worst.

The girls ordered their ice cream and their grandpa waved the fees-again. They visited for a few minutes until another customer came through the door and then they left, happily licking their ice cream before it could melt and run down the sides of their cones.

Kintra's mom started the car and put into gear, heading out onto the street after looking both ways. The light at the intersection was still green, so she pressed down on the gas pedal a little more and pulled out into the intersection. One moment, everything was fine, and the next, Kintra was looking down the street and seeing a car shooting the red light on his side. He didn't see the van until it was too late, and the cars slammed together in a horrible crunch, full of squealing sounds and sickening cracks. Kintra felt something hit her throat, and then everything went white, and then black.


	2. Waiting to Hear

**A/N: I just wanted to let everyone know that between this chapter's topic paragraph and my other story's overall topic, it may seem to you that I have a twisted fascination with narcotics. I assure you that that is not the case! The adjective 'drug' just worked so well that I used it.**

**Also, I don't own anything Camp Rock or Jonas Brothers related. I put this story under Camp Rock, but the characters are actually more like the Jonas Brothers. Since I don't know them personally, I have no idea how they would really act, so I'm using what little I know about them, combined with their characters from Camp Rock, and a little of my own imagination thrown in just because I can! Hope you enjoy!**

Unconsciousness is like a drug. The longer you let yourself stay in its presence, the harder it becomes to turn away from it. When light starts to creep in, its brilliant glare makes you recoil, because it hurts. You push yourself further and further back into the hole of darkness, but the light continues to encroach on your domain. Soon, there is nowhere to go, and there is not even a crevice to hide in. You must come out, and the light is the victor this time.

Kintra opened one eye and then the other. The light hurt, making her eyes water slightly. She briefly wondered if she was dead, but then she heard the steady beeping of a heart monitor and images of the accident came rushing back to her. She surmised that she was in a hospital bed, and when her nose began to itch, she took a deep breath in through her nose, and the oxygen from the oxygen mask rushed in, quelling the itch. The action, though, made her throat hurt terribly, so she tried not to breathe as deeply.

Once her senses became more alert, Kintra noticed a slight pressure on her stomach and looked down. There lay her sister, her blonde hair falling over her face as she slept, with her left arm in a sling. Kintra moved her right arm down to stroke her sister's hair, pushing it gently out of her face. The gesture roused Emma and caused her to lift her head, blinking and yawning. When she saw that Kintra was awake, her eyes widened happily. "Kinny!" she stage whispered. When Kintra opened her mouth to speak, Emma stopped her. "Don't try and talk. I'll be right back!" she jumped awkwardly off the bed and ran out the door, calling, "Emiline! Emiline!" as she went. Kintra frowned and winced, embarrassed that her sister was making so much noise in a hospital of all places.

Emma soon reappeared, her arm dangerously close to sliding out of its sling, with a nurse and her parents in tow. The nurse, who was obviously Emiline, smiled when she saw Kintra. "Hello, Miss Philips," she said sweetly. "I've heard a lot about you from your sister."

'_Oh I'm sure you have,'_ Kintra thought dryly. She glared at her sister, but Emma was oblivious to any such glances. She just kept smiling, happy that her sister was awake.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the nurse stopped her, just as Emma had done a few minutes before. "I'm afraid there won't be any use in you opening your mouth," she told Kintra. "Do you, by any chance, remember something hitting you in the throat during the accident? Just nod or shake your head for yes or no." Kintra nodded, remembering something colliding harshly with her throat before she slipped into unconsciousness. "Well that explains a little bit," Emiline said, writing something down on her chart. She stepped closer to Kintra's bed and said, "You have severely crushed vocal cords," she said. "We operated to try and fix those, but there wasn't anything we could do about it. I'm sorry. You won't be able to speak again."

Kintra lay there in shock. She couldn't move, couldn't think, and couldn't do anything. She thought she felt a tear slid down her cheek, but she never remembered giving herself permission to cry. When the nurse saw that she would get no other response from Kintra, she stood up and told Kintra's parents that she was very sorry, and would they like her to find someone who could teach their daughter sign language? Kintra's parents nodded and thanked the nurse and once she had left, they turned to their daughter.

Kintra's mother wiped the tear that had indeed trickled down from Kintra's eye, brushing her daughter's cheek during the process as a loving gesture. Kintra's father had flown in from out of state once he had heard about the accident, and he sat there, holding his daughter's hand, brushing his thumb across the back of her hand as she stared at the ceiling.

Shock ran through Kintra's body, causing her whole person to become rigid as the car crash played over and over in her head like a movie put on REPEAT mode. She saw the crash, heard the sounds, felt the pain, and then, she fainted.

When she opened her eyes once more, her family was sitting in chairs around her bed, joined now by her grandparents. They all looked at her expectantly and she tried to smile. Her mom pushed back some of the hair in her daughter's face. "Are you feeling better?" she asked.

Kintra nodded and lifted her hand to rotate it from side to side, saying that she was okay, but she could be a whole lot better. Her mother nodded, and said something, but her words were lost on Kintra, because for the first time, she heard music playing somewhere outside her room. She listened closer, and she could distinctly hear it. A pattern had formed now, a sonata in her head. The crashes of cymbols, the bending of bows, and she could hear it all. She tilted her head to the side, listening harder now as she took comfort in the music. It seemed to be playing right to her heart.

"Kintra," her mom said again, worried. "Kinny?" Kintra's head snapped in her direction, and her eyes must've shown some question, because her mom handed her a tablet, digging through her purse to find a pen.

When Kintra's mom found the pen and handed it to her daughter, Kintra quickly wrote, "_Do you hear that?"_

She passed the tablet to her mom and waited for her to read it. "Hear what?" she asked. Everyone turned to look intently at Kintra as she made a motion with her hands, asking for the tablet back.

"_Do you hear the music?"_ she wrote.

When her mother read the note, with her husband and other daughter reading over her shoulders, she looked up with a frown on her face. "What music?" she asked.

Kintra was still waiting for them to hear what she heard.


	3. Changes of the Heart

Nick Grey groaned as he leaned back against the sofa, absently turning off the TV in the process. He had developed a terrible headache, and the news report about him and his brothers had not helped matters. He briefly wondered how hard it would be to get up and get a pain killer, but since even blinking caused him pain, he thought the better of it. If he lay perfectly still, not moving any part of his body, the headache became bearable. "Thought you might need this," said a voice. Nick looked up, squinting. Headaches had a tendency to go to his eyes and affect his vision, but he would've known that voice if he had been blind. His mom stood beside him, holding a bottle of water in one hand, and a pain killer in the other. She held them out so that Nick could reach them, and sat down on the couch while he took the medication. "What's happening, Nick?" she asked, pushing back his unruly hair while checking for a temperature increase in her son. "Have you been checking you blood sugar?" she asked him, eyes narrowed.

He nodded. "Yeah," he told her. "I think I'm just tired. School and touring's a bit rough."

Mrs. Grey tilted her head to the side suspiciously. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the review on TV, would it?"

Nick's eyes widened. "How'd you…?"

His mom smiled at him and teased, "You and your brothers aren't the only ones who've got people." She tugged authoritatively on her jacket. "I'm the mom," she said. "I know things." Once again serious, she leaned forward to hug him. "Don't worry about it. That review's just someone's opinion. It doesn't dictate who you are, or what your fans think of you." She laughed. "Chances are, some of your fans are emailing in right now to say how wrong that reporter really is."

Nick smiled. "I guess you're right."

Of course I'm right," she responded, tugging at a loose curl. "I'm the mom."

Nick smiled, leaned back once more against the couch's pliable cushions. His headache was slowly decreasing in intensity and he thought that he might actually get a chance to rest. "Mom! Mom! Guess what!" Kevin called, barreling into the house. Nick groaned once more. So much for that idea.

Mrs. Grey came out of the kitchen, shushing Kevin before she even saw him. "Your brother's not feeling well," she said quietly. "Try and keep it down. What will I never guess?"

Kevin turned to Nick quickly. "Sorry Nick," he said, and then his attention was back on his mom. "There was this reporter and-"

"We know," his mom finished, cutting him off. She patted his cheek affectionately. "Like I told Nick, don't worry about it. This is America, and everyone's entitled to their own opinion, however wrong it may be." Kevin smiled at his mother's teasing words and disappeared up the stairs to go find Joe.

Nick was just about to say something to his mom when the phone rang. She hurried into the kitchen once more to answer the device, and he heard snippets of her conversation. "Hi Emiline!...yes, everyone's great…well, the boys had a little setback…oh you saw it…yes, I agree…who…well, I guess I could…what happened to her…car crash…that's awful…sure, send her over as soon as she gets out…alright, talk to you later…bye."

Nick heard the phone being place on its cradle and then his mother stepped out from the kitchen. "Guess who that was," she said.

Nick tried to think of any Emilines he would've known and finally said, "The Emiline that worked at the hospital where Frankie was born."

Mrs. Grey waved a hand at him. "I'm not asking you anymore. You take all the fun out of it."

Nick grinned. "Sorry," he apologized. "What did she say?"

"She has a young girl in the hospital right now that was in a car crash. Apparently, her vocal cords are crushed, and she needs to learn sign language. So Emiline called me because she remembered me teaching it."

If Mrs. Grey had expected Nick to be thrilled, or at the very least, happy, she was sorely disappointed. Instead of looking pleased, Nick asked, his tone deadly calm, "How can you expect to teach a girl sign language when we're so busy with planning the tour and stuff? Family comes first, doesn't it?"

Mrs. Grey looked shocked. "Why Nick," she exclaimed, "what's going on with you? Where's the little boy that wanted everyone to be happy?" She looked at her son with a sad wonder in her eyes. "I never thought that I'd see the day when you'd want yourself to come before someone else." She walked back into the kitchen, having appropriately chastised her son. She turned around and added a small thought-provoking remark. "And maybe I'd bring her along on tour."

Nick rubbed his eyes angrily. He was being a pain, and he knew it. This time, he couldn't blame it on his diabetes though, because his sugar levels were just fine. It was his attitude that was the problem. It was the anger that he felt towards pretty much everyone in Hollywood at the moment. The review of one of their concerts had been poor, and people were whispering that the Jonas Brothers might be losing their touch. It was rumored that they might even be breaking up because "Nick's condition is holding the other two back." Condition! That's what they called it. A life threatening disease and they called it 'condition!' No one understood what a daily struggle it was to get out of bed, to live life normally, all the while knowing that you're not normal.

He leaned back against the couch once more, but this time it was not from being tired that made him sigh. It was the realization that this girl really needed his mom more than he did at the moment. He wondered what it must be like to lose the language that you've used for your whole life. He thought about how a single second could throw the whole world around you into utter chaos. It was only then that he realized that this girl must be hurting, and that realization made him feel slightly guilty for what he had said.

He stood and walked into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he watched his mother fix dinner. She heard him, but she didn't look up. Instead, she waited, wanting him to speak first. It took a moment, but finally, he did. "I'm sorry," he said. "It was rude of me to say that."

Only then did she turn around and nod. "Thanks," she said. "I hope you'll meet her when she comes."

Nick shrugged, noncommittally. "Maybe," he said, but by the tone of his voice, Mrs. Grey knew that he would be making himself scarce during the girl's visits. She sighed; her son had changed. She had heard people whispering behind his back that he was too serious for his own good. She had always brushed that off by telling herself that he was just mature for his age. But people had started to whisper that although he was polite and gentlemanly like his brothers, Nick Grey was untouchable. He had closed his heart off to everything and operated by mind alone. That comment was something that Mrs. Grey could not explain away, and it bothered her that her son was rapidly shutting his heart down. The caring side was fading, and the business side was taking over.

But all she said at the moment was, "Would you please go call your father and brothers. It's time for dinner."

**A/N: What'd you think? Let me know! By the way, this chapter and Mrs. Grey's comment is dedicated to my uncle, who says the very same thing about other people's opinions. **


	4. Waiting for Sleep

The doctor was looking strangely at her…again. Kintra tried not to let his stares bother her, but he was really starting to freak her out. Her parents had called him in when they had feared that Kintra had started hearing things, and he had been there for almost an hour, trying to convince Kintra that she wasn't hearing anything, it was the effect of the anesthesia, blah blah blah. He would tell her that she couldn't hear anything, and she would write, _"I hear it all around this hospital."_ He would give her another reason, and she would write the same thing. After a while, the doctor stopped talking to her. She had a feeling that he thought that she was just trying to be argumentative since she had nothing better to do with her time while she was stuck in his facility, and Kintra began to wonder if he was right. But then, there would be some melody that would float in to her from outside her room, and her determination was renewed.

The doctor finished talking with her parents and turned to leave, but he suddenly stopped at the door. Turning around, he asked, "You're not, by any chance, autistic, are you?"

Kintra tilted her head to the side, confused as to how that had anything to do with the conversation, and then shook her head 'no.'

Her curious gaze told him without words that she wanted to know why he had asked, so the doctor explained. "It almost sounds like you're a savant, a person who can hear the music inside their head from everyday objects making noise. Very talented savants can play and instrument after having toyed around with it for a while. But savants are autistic." He shook his head and smiled. "Never mind."

Once he had left the room, Kintra turned to her sister and lifted her arms, moving her right arm like she was playing her violin. Emma understood and giggled. "You wish," she teased her sister.

Kintra made a motion like she was writing, and then held her hands out. Her dad placed the tablet into her hands and she wrote, _"When does Emma get her cast off? Was mom hurt? When do I get out of here?"_

She passed it back to her dad and he read her questions, smiling. "Five weeks, a little, tomorrow," he said, answering each of her questions. "You have a teacher close to the house who's going to teach you sign language starting the day after tomorrow," he said. "Her name's Mrs. Grey."

Kintra immediately thought of the Connect 3 Mrs. Grey, but then shook her head. That was silly. There were plenty of Greys out there in the world. Kintra smiled, thinking of the Connect 3 boys. Her favorite, personally, was Nick. Because of her leukemia, she felt connected to him in a way. It was like he understood the feeling of trying to act normally, knowing that you're not normal, knowing any minute, that you could die. Kintra rolled her eyes at her own thoughts. No one thought that deeply unless they were seriously bored, like she was right now. Nick probably didn't have the time to think about diseases that could kill. She motioned for the tablet back and wrote, "_How many times will I go to this Mrs. Grey's house?"_

Her mom read over her dad's shoulder and answered, "As many times as you need to until you learn how to sign. I'm going to go with you so that I can learn as well, and then we can talk to each other."

Kintra nodded and motioned once again for the tablet. She wrote, _"When will I have my next treatment?"_

Her mom read her question and responded, "The doctor was hoping to do something about your treatments at the end of this week. You can't get off of those for any reason." She squeezed her daughter's hand affectionately. "Just think, four more months and you should be leukemia-free."

Kintra smiled, but her mind told her that once she had fought the debilitating disease, she would have to work on something equally as debilitating. Sign language was not a universal language. She would have to take someone with her everywhere she went so that she could communicate with a world that, last week, had been so easy to communicate with.

There was a knock on the door and a nurse hesitantly walked in. "I'm sorry," she said, "but visiting hours are over." She bit her lip, hating to have to kick the family out.

Kintra's father made it easy on the nurse. "Come on Emma, Charlotte, we should be getting home anyway. You have school tomorrow and you," he said, kissing his wife's cheek, "have school to teach." He smiled at the nurse. "You see, we were just waiting for someone to come and get us so that it wouldn't appear that we were leaving on our own accord. You have saved us from having to spend more time here." If sound could've come out of Kintra's mouth, she would have been laughing so hard. Instead, she threw back her head and her body shook with silent peals of laughter. Her dad winked at her and the nurse to show both that he was teasing, and everyone said good night to Kintra, giving her a hug and a kiss.

Emma was the last to leave. She looked worriedly at her sister, hesitant to leave. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" she asked. The sisters went through this every night. Kintra put a hand over her heart, promising to take care of herself.

"Good," her sister responded and hugged Kintra again. "I love you Kinny," she whispered. "Good night."

When her family had left, Kintra suddenly felt a wave of homesickness sweep over her. No matter how many nights she was in the hospital, the surge of longing to go home never went away. She lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to close her eyes without the memories of the accident blazing their way into her thinking. Every time her body began to relax, it would play back the accident, complete with the sound effects that made Kintra shudder and squirm as she tried to get away from the memories that were inside of her. Three nights ago, she had realized the reason that she hated the accident. It wasn't the accident itself that caused her distress, it was the consequences. It was the thought that because of the accident, she could no longer speak. It was because of the accident that she had a scar along the front of her neck now that would not be easy to hide. It was because of the accident that her sweet sister's arm was in a cast. Tears trickled down Kintra's cheeks as she tossed and turned, fighting off the images that clung to her like lint. Not even the music helped to sooth her tonight.

Kintra was still waiting for sleep to claim her.


	5. Waiting to Cry

"_I'm fine!!"_ Kintra wanted to scream. This was one of those times when having no one to understand you made you feel like you were completely shut off from the human world. Ever since she had taken a step off her hospital bed, her parents, sister and grandparents had been unbearably helpful. It seemed to Kintra that they had nothing else to do besides help her! After that thought, she berated herself. Of course they had other things to do. Her dad should've been at a meeting in Texas, her mom should've been at home paying bills, her sister should've been at school, and her grandparents had a business to run. No one had time to help her, yet they were all there, doing every little thing for her, and this realization made Kintra fell guilty.

"Sorry," she mouthed to her mom, making her mouth movements overly exaggerated.

Her mom swatted Kintra's shoulder gently. "Don't be silly," she said reproachfully. "I know what you're thinking, so stop." Kintra gave her an innocent look and her mother shook her head. "You're thinking that you're a burden to us. You're not."

Kintra shrugged, letting the matter drop. There was no way she was going win this conversation, especially when she had no way of communicating verbally. She allowed herself to be gently placed into her grandparent's car and leaned her head on Emma's shoulder. It was already turning into a long ride home. The car made Kintra feel confined in a way it had not done before the accident. She felt like she could not breathe, and sporadic images of the crash flew back into her mind. They startled Kintra, for she had thought that she had banished them all, but she had been wrong. Not even the ever-present music proved to sooth her nerves. Unconsciously, her hand gripped Emma's tighter, and her sister saw Kintra's reaction.

"Mom," she piped up from the back of the car. "I think we need to stop and get something to eat. It's past lunchtime and both Kinny and I are hungry."

"Where'd you like to go?" her mom asked, turning around from where she sat in the front seat.

Emma named Kintra's favorite restaurant and the family reached the restaurant in a matter of minutes. Kintra stepped out, placing her hands on her knees and breathing hard. She blinked as black dots swarmed in front of her eyes, threatening to send her into a faint. She desperately tried to pull herself together and waved off her mom's concern. "Fine," she mouthed, trying to convince everyone that she was fine.

Eating at a restaurant proved to be one more thing that was difficult. When the waiter arrived, Kintra noticed that his attention was riveted at once to the angry red scar across her neck where the surgery had taken place. Then, when Kintra had tried to order, forgetting once again that she couldn't speak, she had been so embarrassed that it was all she could do to point to what she wanted on the menu so that Emma could order for her. Everyone noticed her discomfort and tried to make the meal easy on her. Without realizing that she was doing it, Kintra rubbed the scar on her throat, covering it from the waiter's curious stare.

Emma leaned over and whispered in her sister's ear. "I have a surprise for you when we get home," she told her sister. She glared at the waiter. "You'll like it," she promised.

Kintra nodded and continued eating, swallowing carefully so that her throat would not protest by aching. The drive home was rather silent, and Kintra was glad to finally get out of the vehicle and get into the house, genuinely smiling for the first time since the accident. She was home! Everything looked familiar, yet somehow strange. Even though Kintra could have gone through the whole house blindfolded, after having been away, the house seemed like it didn't belong to her. "It'll take a while to get used to," her mom told her, using a soothing voice so that she could gently bring Kintra out of her reverie. "A home always seems strange when you've been away from it for a while."

Kintra felt a tug at her sleeve and turned to meet Emma's excited gaze. "Come on," she said. "I want to show you my surprise."

Their mom smiled and informed Kintra, "She started working on this after she saw your scar." Emma invited everyone up to Kintra's room, leading Kintra as though the older girl didn't know where her room was. Kintra smiled at that thought, but let Emma lead her, knowing that her little sister only did it out of excitement. Her mouth fell open when Emma led her into her bedroom. There before her was every outfit Kintra owned, and a matching scarf was draped around each one. She turned in amazement and pointed at Emma, and then at the scarves, asking if her little sister had done all the work.

Amazingly, Emma understood her sister's question, even though there were no words involved. She nodded. "With a little help from grandma," she said, aiming an appreciative gaze at her grandmother, who stood by the door, her arm around her husband.

Kintra hugged Emma, her way of saying 'thank you,' and then hugged her grandmother the same way. "You're most welcome," her grandmother responded. Emma did most of the work though."

"You've always wanted to wear them," Emma told her sister, "so here's the perfect excuse!"

Kintra hugged her sister again. She was so fortunate as to have a sister who was so understanding and loving. Kintra knew that most people had horror stories to tell about their siblings, but she and Emma never had those problems. Every now and then, an argument would make them wish that they lived on separate universes, but never for long. They were best friends, and Kintra loved her sister for that fact. "Thank you," she mouthed to everyone.

"You're welcome," her mom said. "You should probably figure out what outfit you'd like to wear tomorrow for your first class."

Kintra stiffened. In all the excitement, she'd completely forgotten about having to go to Mrs. Grey's house tomorrow. Emma saw her face fall and piped up. "Just think," she said cheerily. "You and I'll be able to talk to each other at school, and no one else will know what we're talking about!" Emma leapt around, clapping her hands excitedly, and Kintra had to smile at her excitement. The awkward moment soon passed and Kintra's mom invited her parents to stay for dinner.

Kintra was playfully shooed out of the kitchen after her mom declared that she was not allowed to help cook for a while. Instead, she trudged up the stairs and slipped into her room. The laughter from downstairs swirled into a cheery ballad of notes that made Kintra smile. When she saw her clothes strategically placed around her room, her smile fell. She would have to pick some outfit for tomorrow. The thought of leaving the decision for tomorrow morning flittered across Kintra's mind, but she brushed that thought off. Knowing her, she'd be late if she tried that. There was a knock at her door and Kintra turned to find her mom standing there. "I thought you might need some help," she told her daughter with a small smile. Kintra nodded and used her arm to sweep across the clothes in her room. Her mom understood the unspoken question of, _"Which one?"_

She stepped up to a pair of jeans, a bright yellow scoop necked shirt with a pretty blue shirt underneath and brought it over to Kintra. "This always looks very cute on you," she told her daughter. A yellow scarf was delicately tied around the hander, and Mrs. Philips held the scarf up to her daughter's cheek. "Yes," she said, almost to herself. "Very pretty." She put the hanger back in its place and touched her daughter's cheek with her hand. "It's just a suggestion, though." She smiled and turned to walk out. "Better wash up," she told Kintra. "Our dinner's almost ready."

Dinner was a very small affair since they had eaten lunch only a couple of hours ago. Kintra listened to all the talk around her, and a feeling of loneliness fell over her. She had no way of responding, or giving input, so she had to sit there, shut off from everything. Emma, who was sitting next to her, kept squeezing her hand to show that she had not been forgotten, and Kintra would smile back. Throughout the dinner, Kintra felt herself getting tired. Her body started to feel as though it was made of lead and normal motions became difficult. Her mom herded her off to bed after everyone had said goodnight.

As she lay in bed, Kintra struggled once more with the fear of the accident. She had thought that she had overcome those fears, but she had been wrong. With the darkness of the room enveloping her, Kintra felt stifled. She felt claustrophobic for the first time in her life. This time, the faint music in her head helped to sooth her a little, but images kept flooding her mind, making her wish that she could cry out. Her body jerked as she cried, but her eyes remained dry.

She was still waiting for the tears to fall.


	6. Waiting for an Explanation

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to all of you who are constantly reviewing and making me feel like I should keep writing 24/7! Thanks so much for all your kind comments. Here you go!**

Kintra wiped her hands on her jeans one more time. For the past half an hour, that was the only thing she'd been doing. The city rolled by her window, and she didn't even notice. The car ceased to bother her and the music that played constantly in her head was drowned out by the pounding in her ears. Her heart thudded in her chest and Kintra was sure that the organ would hurt itself if it continued pounding as hard as it was at the moment. She wished that Emma had been there, but Emma was at school. She glanced over at her mom, knowing that her mother was probably thinking about the abilities of the substitute teacher she had charged her class with today, and wished for the millionth time that she had not suggested going to get ice cream that day. If she hadn't, none of this would have happened, and she would have been at school today, listening to her mother lecture on Aristotle and Socrates.

"Are you nervous?" The question startled Kintra, for she had been buried in her thoughts. She turned to her mother and nodded sheepishly. Her mom nodded. "That's understandable, but just remember, Mrs. Grey knows that you don't know anything. Her job is to teach you how to speak again. Don't worry. She'll teach you everything you need to know."

Both were silent as Mrs. Philips signaled and merged onto the off ramp of the freeway. A few twists and turns from there and they turned onto the Grey's street. Kintra felt helpless as she watched her mother try and find the address by herself. Usually, she would call out the numbers and help her mom find the place, but now, she could do nothing. She saw the correct number on a blue house with white trim and tugged on her mom's sleeve. Her mom saw the number and smiled. "Thanks," she said. She parked the car under a tree in the Grey's parkway and she grabbed Kintra's hand. "This is a learning experience for both of us," she said. "Let's have fun." Kintra nodded, trying to be brave for her mom.

She stepped out of the car and waited for her mom to retrieve her purse, then hand in hand they walked up the walkway. Before they even reached the top step, the front door flew open and a pretty, motherly woman stepped out. Her black curly hair framed her beaming face delicately and her brown eyes sparkled when she saw Kintra. "You're here!" she cried. "I've been waiting so patiently, but I really didn't think this day would get here!" She stepped forward, and then hesitated. "May I hug you both?" she asked.

Kintra smiled and nodded while her mother said, "Of course!" Then came individual hugs and one group hug. Mrs. Grey pushed Kintra back at arm's length so that she could get a good look at the girl. Her stare was not a hard one, but Kintra was glad that she had her new scarf wrapped around her neck, disguising her scar. "How old are you?" she asked curiously.

"Sixteen," her mom responded for her.

"You're one of my sons' ages then," Mrs. Grey said lightly. "Shall we go inside and get something to drink before we start?" Kintra nodded, smiling, and Mrs. Grey led them inside.

The house was rather large, and Kintra briefly wondered how many kids Mrs. Grey had. The living room was wide and spacious, and Kintra could imagine having a family game night in it. Up against the wall stood a beautiful grand piano. Stairs led up to the second floor and the wall was lined with pictures. The dining room came next, and Kintra smiled when she saw a vase of flowers in the middle of the long table. Next came the kitchen and it was only then that Kintra noticed that the two mothers were busily chatting away. When Mrs. Grey turned her back to pull something out of the cabinet, Kintra tugged on her mom's sleeve and made a motion like she was playing the piano. "Ask her," Mrs. Philips said.

"Ask me what?" Mrs. Grey asked, turning around and noticing Kintra's blushing face.

"I think Kintra would like to know if she could play your piano," Mrs. Philips told her new friend.

"Of course she can!" Mrs. Grey said with a laugh. "Have you played long?" Kintra shook her head and was grateful that she didn't have the voice to admit that she'd never played before. She couldn't understand the feeling, but something drew her to the piano. "Go ahead," Mrs. Grey continued. "Play for a bit while your mom and I visit."

Kintra slipped quietly out of the room and made her way over to the piano. She ran her hand over the shiny black cover as though to memorize the feel of the wood. She pulled the bench out and sat down, lifting the lid quietly. As soon as the ivory keys were revealed to her, Kintra thought that the music inside her head actually got louder. Not knowing where to begin, she pressed down on the furthest key to her right. It made a high, almost unrecognizable sound, but Kintra knew exactly what it was supposed to sound like. When she pressed the next key to its left, the sound was what she expected to hear. She worked her way down the piano, listening to each key as it rang out its note. Once she reached the lowest key, Kintra smiled and placed her hands over the proper keys, beginning to play.

Nick heard his mother's excited voice echo throughout the house when she opened the door. He rolled his eyes and turned his back to his bedroom door. The mute girl was here. Silently, he berated himself. What had gotten into him lately? Grudgingly, he agreed with his mom. He had changed, and he didn't know why. Perhaps it was because he no longer trusted girls to show interest in him as a person? Or was it the fact that everyone seemed to want to change his personality to a bubblier one? He rolled over once again and tried to focus on the script in his hand, but his mother's excited voice kept him from being able to concentrate. Then, he heard the piano being played, one painful note at a time. Gritting his teeth, Nick swung his legs off the bed and stood, throwing his script down on the bed beside him. Just because this girl was coming into his house did not mean that she had the right to play his piano. She was probably going to play chopsticks!

He had just reached the landing of the stairs, intent on going down and giving this girl a piece of his mind, when he heard playing, and it was nowhere near chopsticks. The music swirled around the room and seemed to tease his senses, for Nick found himself walking calmly down the stairs to stand against the banister and listen to the graceful music. The girl playing the piano was not what he had been expecting. She was tall and slim with silky auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her yellow and blue shirts set off her skin color and Nick noticed the yellow scarf draped loosely around her slim neck and smiled.

He heard footsteps and turned to see his mom and another woman, Mrs. Philips, come out of the kitchen. When Mrs. Grey saw that it was not her son who was playing, her gaze shifted to where Kintra sat, oblivious to her crowd. Mrs. Philips' eyes widened until they looked like miniature saucers and she leaned over to whisper to Nick's mother. "She's never taken piano lessons," she told her.

Nick's head snapped back to look at this girl who sat playing a piece right out of her head with absolutely no training. Something about the music stirred his heart, but only for a moment, and then the flame sputtered out once more. The girl seemed to let her body play on its own accord, for only her fingers moved, striking the keys effortlessly. Slowly, the song began to slow down, and she ended with a sweet little trill. Once she had finished, her shoulders slumped and her posture left its rigid stance. She turned and jumped when she noticed three people watching her. Her face changed from embarrassment to confusion when she noticed that both Mrs. Grey and her mother were standing there with their mouths open, and Nick Grey, member of Connect 3, was scowling at her. She put her hands up as if asking, _"What?"_

Kintra was still waiting for someone to tell her why they were staring at her.


	7. Waiting for Him to Understand

Mrs. Grey was ecstatic. There was no other word to describe her emotions at that moment. She sipped her coffee in an effort to hide her smile from her serious son. He sat there, sitting across from Kintra, eyeing her curiously, his gaze slipping and sliding over each one of the girl's features. Mrs. Grey took another sip to hide yet another smile as she watched her son. Even though he would be the last one to admit it, there was a connection there between the two teens. Mrs. Grey had never seen her son let anyone play his piano, and her ruse to get him to come out of his room had worked, in a more complete way than she could have hoped. She broke into the conversation, saying, "As much fun as all this is, I think Kintra would like to be able to add some input, so I think we should get started with the lessons." She pushed back her chair and stood, striding to the sink to wash out her cup. "You're welcome to stay, Nick," she said, acting as though the remark had been an afterthought. She turned to Kintra and her mother and added, "Out of all my boys, Nick is the most fluent with sign language." When a few moments passed and Nick didn't move, Mrs. Grey accepted his presence and the lessons began.

* * *

"Thanks for coming!" Mrs. Grey waved cheerily and Nick raised his hand as the car drove off. Mrs. Grey closed the door and leaned against it for support. "Well," she said to her son, "she's a very nice girl."

"I guess," Nick said nonchalantly. He shrugged. "I think she has a photographic memory," he added.

His mother eyed him carefully. "Oh?" she said, trying to sound disinterested. "Why do you say that?"

"She picked up everything so quickly," he answered. "She and I practically had a whole conversation."

Mrs. Grey nodded slightly. "You may be right," she conceded, "but maybe not. She may just learn quickly. If you had a handicap like that and you needed to learn something to support yourself, you'd be amazed at how fast you could learn it as well." She noticed the thoughtful look in her son's eyes and left him standing in the living room contemplating that remark while she went to fix dinner. She pulled the celery out of the fridge and smiled, her shoulders shaking with the slight laughter. "I can't wait for tomorrow," she whispered.

* * *

The next day, no ruse was needed to bring Nick out of his bedroom. He was there in the living room with his mother when Kintra and her mom arrived. "Morning," he said to Kintra, trying to be polite. She surprised him by greeting him happily in a rush of sign language, her small hands flittering around as she "spoke."

"Very nicely done," his mother praised, having watched the exchange. Kintra placed her hand at her lips and drew it down, a silent, _"Thank you."_ "Shall we get started?" Mrs. Grey asked. Kintra nodded eagerly and in her excitement, led the way into the kitchen.

By the time three hours had passed, Kintra had made unbelievable progress. She was an eager student, bright and cheery, and she learned as quickly as Mrs. Grey could teach. Her mom learned at a slower pace, however, and soon, Mrs. Grey sent Kintra and Nick off to practice by themselves while she gave Mrs. Philips a little more instruction.

Nick led the way out of the kitchen and stopped, trying to decide between conducting their practicing in the living room or going upstairs. He really didn't want Kintra in his bedroom, but how could he seat her in the living room and try to make conversation from across the room? With an almost inaudible sigh, he led Kintra up to the second floor of the house, twisting sharply to the left as he reached the landing. His door was the second on the right and he opened it widely, stepping aside courteously so that Kintra could enter first.

She repeated her _"Thank you,"_ and stepped inside, twisting to make sure that Nick had not closed the door behind him. She need not have worried, for Nick had opened the door as far as it would go, and was attempting to make it go further. She smiled slightly, and then he turned around. The sight that met him was shocking. Kintra sat there on his bed, with her hands folded primly over her knee, glancing around the room with curiosity. Nick felt a slight twinge in his heart as he watched her. She was the first girl, besides his mother, to have ever entered his room. He had always closed his room off because it was his sanctuary. He didn't need the memories of a date-gone-wrong to interfere with the one place he felt completely comfortable. Seeing Kintra sitting there, looking like she fit in perfectly, made his heart give an unknown squeeze. Trying to shake off the feeling, he cleared his throat and asked, harsher than he had intended, "What should we talk about?"

The question brought Kintra's wandering eyes back to his face. She looked intently at him for a moment and then signed, _"Tell me about yourself."_

Nick had not been prepared for that answer, and he stood, blinking for a moment. He had expected her to ask about his life as a star, or the tour that he and his brothers were going on in a couple of weeks, or something trivial that girls might be expected to ask. But this question, asked with the utmost sincerity in her eyes, threw Nick off balance. Striving for control, he began detailing his life, editing much. He didn't like the idea of having someone know his whole life story. Running quickly out of things to say, due to the editing, he began to talk about the tour, and she let him. For the first time in Nick's life, someone other than a family member was sitting completely still, listening as he talked. _It felt good!_ He'd never talked this long in one sitting before! He wound up with, "And you know about my diabetes."

Kintra nodded her head thoughtfully. _"That must be difficult to live with,"_ she signed. _"I can only imagine what that must be like."_

That sentence made Nick's face morph into a setting that resembled stone. "No," he said icily. "You can't imagine. No one can imagine what I go through on a daily basis. You don't know what it's like to have to depend on something so heavily because without it, you might die." He turned his back to her and said, "I need to be alone now." It was not a diplomatic way of excusing Kintra, it was a barely fluffed, "Get out." She slipped out the door so quietly that Nick barely heard her. Since his back was to her, he didn't see the tears streaming down her face.

Before rejoining the moms, Kintra took a moment to carefully compose herself. She then put on a smile and marched into the kitchen. _"Are we ready to go?"_ she signed. _"I'm tired."_ Her mom took the hint graciously and stood, thanking Mrs. Grey. "So we won't see you for two weeks," she clarified.

"Absolutely," Mrs. Grey said with a nod. She smiled knowingly at Kintra and in that moment, Kintra knew that her teacher knew about her sickness. "I hope everything goes well and you feel better soon," she said, giving her pupil a hug.

"_Thank you,"_ Kintra signed, and she and her mom led the way out of the kitchen to the front door. As she passed the stairway, Kintra couldn't help but look up to see if Nick might be standing there. He wasn't. She and her mom waved goodbye to Mrs. Grey as their car drove away, and Kintra's eyes automatically drifted up to the window where Nick's room should be. The blinds were closed.

Kintra was still waiting for him to understand.


	8. Waiting for the Right Words

Nick was remorseful. He had been since he had turned around and found himself alone in his room. Never had his sanctuary felt so bare and cold as it did when he realized that Kintra had really left. He heard his mom saying goodbye and waving, so he reached for the blinds on his window, ready to open them and wave as well, but his fingers refused to work properly. They stayed immobile at his side, refusing to help him apologize. He really shouldn't be so touchy. She'd only been trying to empathize with him, something very few people ever did, and Nick now knew why. If someone tried to help him relieve his stress, he just grew angry with them. He rubbed his eyes and stood, shaking his head. Tomorrow, he would apologize. He walked down the stairs to find his mother just shutting the front door. She turned around and asked, "What'd you do?"

Nick stood frozen, unable to answer for a moment. With a sign of unhappiness, he said, "I stupidly yelled at her when she signed something I didn't like."

Mrs. Grey paused for a moment before leaning casually against the door, her signal that she was all ears. "Actually, I meant 'what did you do while I helped Mrs. Philips,' but why don't you tell me about it?"

Nick sighed again and propped himself up against the back of the couch for support. "She wanted me to tell her about myself, so I told her everything I could think of, and I ended with a comment about my diabetes. She told me that she could imagine how hard that must for me, and I got mad. I told her that she really had no idea and then I said that I wanted to be left alone." He looked up, waiting for his mom's reaction. "She left, and then I felt so bad that I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't get myself to come down, and then she was gone." Seeing his mother's disappointed face, he hastily added, "I really am sorry. I'll apologize as soon as I see her tomorrow."

His mom looked saddened. "She won't be here tomorrow," she said.

"Why not?" Nick asked, slightly panicked that she might have canceled lessons because of his behavior.

Mrs. Grey looked at him squarely as she said, "Kintra has a doctor's appointment tomorrow for some more of her leukemia treatments." Nick's jaw fell open and his mom continued. "They usually make her sick, so she'll come back in two weeks." She patted him on the shoulder as she walked toward the kitchen. "That should give you plenty of time to think about what you're going to say."

She had just reached the kitchen when Nick turned around, her words having sunk in. "But in two weeks, we'll be on tour," he said.

His mom threw him a smirk over her shoulder. "Plenty of time to think about what you want to say," she reiterated. "You'll get to know her better."

Nick slumped down on the couch, his brain working furiously to process all this new information. He cringed as he thought about the words he had hissed at Kintra. _You don't know what it's like to have to depend on something because without it, you might die._ Of course she did. She would have died if she hadn't taken those treatments. Nick shuddered. Here he was, dealing with a disease that at least had a guaranteed way of keeping it under control while Kintra never knew if her treatments would work, if her life would end. He put a hand to his forehead and leaned back on the couch, trying to put all of his apologetic thoughts in a logical order. He was still there when his two older brothers came barreling in through the door.

At first, Nick didn't even look up, and then he heard the voice of his brother, Joe. "Hi to you too." Nick lifted his hand away from his eyes far enough so that he could see Joe and Kevin standing in front of him, waiting for him to go into spasms of delight over them being with him once again. When he failed to even smile, Joe scoffed. "Gee, what'd you do this time?"

Nick groaned. His brother had no idea how much those words hurt him, bringing back the memories from earlier in a sharper, clearer image. Joe had no idea how close to home his words had been. "You don't even want to know," Nick finally responded.

Kevin gave his younger brother a slight shove, telling him without words not to tease Nick anymore. There must be something really wrong. "What happened, Nick?" he asked, his voice, not accusing yet inquisitive, soothed Nick and made him feel as though he could open up without feeling guiltier.

"I yelled at her," he said quietly.

"Who?" his brothers asked at the same time.

"Kintra," he responded.

"The silent girl?" Joe asked.

Irritably, Nick glared at him. "Who else?"

Joe raised his hands. "You never know," he defended. "We might've gotten a new mail lady and she squished a shipment of your socks. You are rather particular in the way you want them handled, you know," he pointed out, making Nick glare at him even more.

"Go on," Kevin said, quelling any further argument between his brothers.

"She was trying to comfort me and I told her that she didn't know what she was talking about," Nick paraphrased. "I told her to leave, and then I felt guilty. I was sure that I could apologize to her tomorrow, but she's not coming back."

Before Joe could make another joke, Kevin asked, "Why's that?"

Nick bowed his head. "She has leukemia," he explained. "Mom said that she has a treatment tomorrow and they make her sick, so she won't be back for two weeks."

Joe frowned. "But in two weeks…" he trailed off.

Nick nodded. "Mom says she's coming on tour with us. I have a feeling that she doesn't know it yet, otherwise she'd probably politely decline after the way I treated her today." He hung his head. "She understood more than anyone else could've and all I did was get mad at her."

Kevin patted his brother's shoulder encouragingly. "I'm sure you'll figure out something to say," he said. "It sounds like you're really sorry."

Joe chimed in. "Yeah, and you'll have the whole tour to show her you mean it. Don't worry about it." He offered his hand to pull Nick up from the couch. "Come on!" he added. "It's time for dinner!"

Smiling, Nick followed the boys into the kitchen, but inside, the turmoil was not over. He was still waiting for the right apology words to come.


	9. Waiting for Directions

Kintra's stomach churned, twisting and flopping as her mom once again exited the freeway. The drive was so familiar, yet Kintra gripped the handle on the car door, her knuckles turning white, from nervousness. She glanced over at her mom, who wore a strange smirk on her face. _"Why do you look so happy?" _she had signed, and the smirk had disappeared, but it was back now, and Kintra was once again curious. Her mom could not communicate with her while she was driving, and that seemed to be in the older woman's favor at the moment. As soon as her mom guided the car onto the Grey's street, though, Kintra lost all trains of thought. Her hand, which had just started relaxing once again, tightened instinctively. Images of Nick and his last words to her flashed into her memory, threatening to make her sick. This time, the sickness had nothing to do with her treatments.

A curious sight met Kintra's eyes when she saw Mrs. Grey, another man whom she assumed was Mr. Grey, Nick, and three other boys moving between the house and a huge bus like ants from food to an ant hill. She frowned slightly and turned to her mom, looking for an explanation. "Don't worry about it," her mom told her. "Just be flexible."

That remark made Kintra even more curious. She frowned again and her mom kissed her forehead. "Let's go," she said, and Kintra was left in the car alone. She stepped out, her eyes immediately flashing to where Nick stood, watching her. Instantly, Kintra's eyes flew down to the ground, becoming extremely interested in the patch of grass in front of her. "Come on, Kintra!" her mom called, forcing her to look up and proceed.

Mrs. Grey was a saving grace. As soon as she saw Kintra, she ran to her, flinging her arms around the smaller girl's body. "I'm so glad to see you!" she cried. She pushed Kintra back at arm's length, freeing her hands and asked, "How are you feeling?"

Kintra felt Nick's eyes on her, so she signed, _"Fine, thank you. You? Are you moving?"_

Mrs. Grey laughed. "Of course not." Her gaze flickered over to rest on Mrs. Philips, who stood with a suitcase pulled from the truck in her hands. "We're going on the boys' tour."

Kintra frowned. _"Are you cancelling lessons?"_ she inquired, her hands moving rapidly.

Mrs. Grey took the suitcase from Kintra's mom and handed it to Kintra. "No," she said, handing the suitcase to Kintra. "You're coming with us." Immediately, Kintra's eyes flickered to where Nick stood, watching her once more. Mrs. Grey saw the look and turned, motioning for her son to come closer, much to Kintra's alarm.

Once in range, Nick smiled pleasantly at Kintra's mother. "Hi, Mrs. Philips," he said.

"Hi, Nick," she responded. "Are you excited about going on another tour?"

He nodded, and then, his gaze swept towards Kintra. "If you ladies don't mind," he said with a smile, "I'd like to borrow Kintra for a moment." Neither mom objected, so Kintra was forced to follow him, excusing herself from the gathering.

Nick stretched his hand out and took hers, making her jump. He ignored her startled face, and he ignored the looks from the rest of his family as he led Kintra inside. He gently pulled her over to the piano and pulled out the seat, patting the spot next to him on the bench. Hesitantly, Kintra sat down on the very edge, looking like an animal ready to dart should the predator pounce. Nick gently slid the lid of the piano back and settled his fingers on the ivory keys. Soon, music began to flow through the room, the tone undulating as Nick's fingers plied different keys in rapid succession.

Kintra began to ease out of her stiff position. The music stirred her heart and spoke to her, clearer than words, and when the message became clear, her head snapped up to meet Nick's face and found that his eyes were already on her face, waiting for her to understand. It was a message of regret, remorse, and apology. When the final notes died away, Nick lowered his gaze from hers, now ashamed.

"I'm so sorry," he said in a voice so low that Kintra could barely make out the words. "I didn't know." She sat back, understanding that he knew about her leukemia. She looked at his face and found that it was hidden from her view since he had bowed it so low.

She used her finger to lift his chin, looking deeply into his eyes once they were open to her. Finding the truth of his words in the twin depths, she smiled and sat back so that she could use her hands. _"Apology accepted,"_ she signed._ "I know what it's like for people not to understand you. Maybe we could listen to each other better?"_ It was an offer of truce that Nick was happy to accept.

"Absolutely," he responded.

"_Good,"_ she signed. _"Now, are you going to introduce me to your brothers, or will I just have to wait until they talk to me themselves?"_

Nick smiled. "No," he said, standing up. "I'll introduce them to you. Just make sure that you sign a little slower for them. They aren't as fluent as mom and I." Kintra nodded and Nick led her outside to where his family stood, getting introduced to Kintra's mom. Smoothly, he broke in after the last family member had been introduced. "And this," he said, motioning to Kintra, "is her daughter. Kintra, this is my dad, my brother, Joe, my brother, Kevin, and my brother, Frankie."

"_Hello,"_ Kintra signed slowly. _"It's nice to meet all of you."_

Joe smiled at her and asked, "What kind of name is Kintra anyway? I've never heard it before."

"_It's an old Scottish name,"_ Kintra explained. _"It means 'rustic' or 'of the country.'"_ She smiled sheepishly. _"I was born in a country cabin unexpectedly, so my mom named me Kintra."_

"Interesting," Kevin said sincerely.

"Are we ready to go?" Mrs. Grey asked. "We have a long day ahead of us." Everyone took that as a sign to get into the bus, so Mrs. Philips hugged Kintra tightly for a moment.

"Be careful," she whispered in her daughter's ear. "Have fun. I love you."

Kintra smiled at her mom, grateful that she was letting her go. _"Always, I'll try, and I love you too,"_ she signed, hurriedly answering each one of her mom's commands. They hugged again and Kintra took a step back, hearing the bus's engine roar to life. An awkward silence fell over both she and her mom.

It was Joe who broke that ice. He leaned out the window and called, "Come on, Rusty Girl, or we'll be late!"

That sent Kintra and her mom into peals of laughter, and they hugged once more. _"Tell Emma that I love her!"_ Kintra signed as she ran back to the bus. _"And you and dad!"_ Her mom waved and Kintra stepped up into the bus.

There, she found the boys lounging already. Nick patted the spot next to him without looking up from the book he was reading, indicating that Kintra was supposed to sit by him. She smiled and sat down, ready to be off. "Everyone ready?" Mr. Grey called back.

"Yep," the boys responded. Kintra heard the bus ease into gear and the journey began.

She was still waiting for someone to tell her where they were going.


	10. Waiting for a Slower Heartrate

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it!**

Kintra leaned her head back, drinking in the music from the iPod her mom had thoughtfully sent along. It soothed her and drowned out some of the other sounds of the road. She could feel Nick's eyes on her, watching as she let her eyelids flutter closed, enjoying the music that was reverberating throughout her body. She felt the bus stop and then she felt a nudge at her shoulder. Opening one eye, she saw Kevin standing in front of her, smiling. "Starbucks run," he informed her. "Do you want something?"

"_Sure,"_ she signed, pulling the earbuds out of her ears and standing up. Out of habit, she moved to stand by Nick. He smiled at her and gently tugged her ponytail before they all got off the bus. Starbucks was relatively empty, so the family sat down and enjoyed their drinks once they had all placed their orders. As Kintra sipped her drink, she zoned out, finding a certain solitude in staring out the window. She could hardly believe that they had been on the road for two weeks already. With the boys having done ten shows, Kintra knew the program like the back of her hand, but she always watched because they put something different in every time. It kept her guessing, and she liked that.

She thought about the family. Everyone was close to everyone else, and Kintra had felt immediately accepted. Kevin was the person to go to when she needed help with something, or needed comfort because a fan had stared her down harshly. Joe was the brother to go to when she needed a good laugh, or was too tired to realize that she was sacrificing herself to him, the one person who could tease the life out of her, eventually making her smile. Nick. A lazy smile crept across her face as she thought about Nick. There was a bond there that she couldn't explain. He was pretty much a constant companion. Because he could understand her, even when her hands flew rapidly in excitement or anger, they were naturally drawn together. They were the same age, and had the same tastes in most things, so they automatically stayed together. Their bond through music strengthened their friendship even more, for they communicated through the music they made in ways that no one else could have.

"Hello!" A hand waved in front of Kintra's face. "Earth to Kintra. Calling Kintra." Kintra jumped, startled. She turned to look at Nick, who had been the one to get her attention. She felt a small blush creep across her face as she looked at him, the boy she had just been thinking of.

"_Sorry,"_ she signed. _"I was off on Pluto."_

Nick smiled. "I was asking what you wanted to do today. We have a pretty free day, and I think we should do something that you want to do."

"_How sweet!"_ Kintra signed, placing her hands over her heart in a mock swooning way. Everyone chuckled, but Kintra caught a look in Joe's eyes that made her start. Those eyes, usually full of mischief and humor, were cold and calculating. They seemed to pierce through her, and Kintra was, for a moment, frozen with shock. Then the look disappeared, and Joe was back to his normal self.

"Well hurry up and decide!" he cried, shaking with excitement.

"_I think we should go swimming,"_ Kintra signed shyly. _"I haven't been swimming in forever."_

"Sounds fine to me," Mrs. Grey said with a smile. Where's there a pool around here?" Nick whipped out his cell phone and typed in a quick search. "We are in Tennessee, right?" he asked.

"Nope," Joe replied. "We're in Kentucky." Nick looked at him, to see if he was teasing. Finding that his brother was serious, he shook his head and turned to Kintra.

"I think it's a good thing you wanted to do something relaxing," he said with a laugh. "With the tour being so crazy, I can't even remember what state we're in!" Kintra rolled her eyes while her friend readjusted his search. He found a large pool just down the street, so everyone hurried back to the bus to get changed into their swimsuits.

When it became Kintra's turn to step into the bathroom, she hesitated to take off her clothes. She fingered the scarf tied around her neck and winced. She hated having to see the scar underneath. Once, she'd tried to wear a scarf to bed, but Joe had put a stop to that. "We're family here," he had said. "We don't mind. Plus, we don't want you strangling yourself in the middle of the night." Since then, she had taken the scarves off before bed, but the thought of being out in public without one made her hesitate. Maybe swimming hadn't been such a great idea.

There was a knock at the door and Kintra opened it, embarrassed that she hadn't even changed yet. Joe stood outside, leaning against the doorframe. "Can I talk to you?" he asked. Kintra looked around and saw that there was no one else in the bus. She heard voices outside and surmised that Joe had slipped back inside to talk to her privately.

"_Sure,"_ she signed.

"I wanted to know if you're going to tell him at some point," Joe said evenly.

Kintra frowned. _"Tell who, and tell them what?"_ she asked.

"Tell Nick that you're falling in love with him," he answered. She opened her mouth to protest silently, raising her hands as an afterthought, but Joe continued. "I've seen the way you look at him. Kinny, you have a really special bond with him." He laughed, and the bitter note in the action surprised Kintra. "I haven't seen him so happy in a really long time," he said. "When he's with you, he seems to come alive."

"_That's what friends are for,"_ Kintra signed. _"But that doesn't mean that I like him any other way."_ Her stomach twisted with that lie.

Joe shrugged resignedly. "Well, when you stop lying to yourself, I think you should tell him. You never know. He might have the same feelings for you." He turned to head out the door and spun around once more, his serious face gone once again, just like at the restaurant. "Come on, Rusty Girl. You're holding up the process!"

Kintra stuck her tongue out at him and disappeared back into the bathroom. She quickly changed out of her clothes and into her swim shorts and rash guard, silently thankful that the rash guard covered most of her scar. She turned to the mirror to do her hair and then stopped. The face that stared back at her was actually glaring at her. She closed her eyes, trying to push away the thought that she had just lied to one of her best friends. How could she be in love with Nick? Nick, the one who girls flocked over. Nick, the one who had a talent greater than hers. Nick, the one who had the voice to speak to her. She shook her head. She couldn't do this. She had to push these feelings back down, making them eventually disappear. She _would_ make them disappear.

'_Well,'_ she thought wryly. _'They always said that he crushed on quiet girls.'_ She scampered out of the bathroom, bounding down the steps of the bus to where everyone else had gathered. She felt Joe's eyes on her, but she just smiled at him. Nick made some joke and gave another tug on her ponytail, and friendly action that was making her heart speed up.

"Shall we go?" Mrs. Grey asked. Everyone, including Kintra, nodded excitedly.

Kintra was still waiting for her heart to return to normal.


	11. Waiting for the Tears to Stop

**A/N: Hey everyone!!!! You've all been so amazingly awesome! (A little excited, I know.) Today's my birthday, so I may get a couple of chapters posted since I don't have any other obligations! Enjoy!**

Jealousy is an interesting feeling, and when the adjective 'interesting' is used, it means awful, horrible and downright self-loathing worthy. Kintra could feel her fists clench once again as she looked over at the girl cuddling up to Nick by the side of the pool. She forced her hands to release from their attack position, telling herself that she was only upset because this girl was definitely trying to hook up with Nick, _**her best friend**_and that_**she wasn't a bit jealous**__._ It wasn't working.

"Keep that up and the towel will be nothing but tatters," said a voice behind her. Kintra turned so swiftly that her neck protested for a moment with a sharp pang. Mrs. Grey stood there, arms folded over her chest, her eyes sparkling. She looked back to where her son sat, laughing over something the girl had said. "Oh, Kinny," she said with a sigh. "Boys can be so stupid sometimes." She brushed Kintra's cheek with her hand in a motherly gesture and continued. "He has everything he could want, right here, and yet he goes off to find it all in some other girl."

Kintra spluttered, and her hands shook as she raised them to protest. _"I'm not jealous,"_ she replied adamantly. _"I just don't like her."_

Mrs. Grey laughed at her response. "And why don't you like her?" she probed, trying to make Kintra see her point. "She seems very nice, and she's very pretty."

Kintra looked back at the girl who was swinging her legs through the water, and her head dropped to her chest, effectively hiding her sorrow for a moment. Finally, she raised her head and looked her teacher right in the eyes as she signed, _"I don't like her because I've fallen in love with Nick."_

Mrs. Grey nodded her head thoughtfully. "As you should have," she said. "You two share a bond that I've never seen before. You connect without words getting in the way." She shook her head. "I hope this one's just a passing fancy." She stood up and smiled at Kintra, leaving her to go dive into the pool once more.

"_Me too,"_ Kintra signed, since there was no one else around to see it. She smoothed out the towel and stood, walking over to the edge of the pool, trying to decide how she wanted to enter once more.

Without warning, something barreled into her, knocking her into the water and falling on top of her. Kintra fought to get to the surface, avoiding any arms and legs in the process, and gasped for air to replace the air that had been knocked out of her. She whirled around as fast as the water would let her to find the culprit of the escapade. She expected to find Joe, grinning madly at her, out of splashing range, but instead, she found a tall, blonde-haired boy looking very sheepish. "I'm so sorry," he cried out. "Are you hurt?"

Kintra shook her head.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking her up and down for any appendages twisted horribly out of place.

Kintra nodded.

"I'm Matt," he said, extending his hand. "And I wasn't paying attention. I'm so sorry." He held her hand, waiting for her to say something, and Kintra blushed because she couldn't sign anything to this boy. Almost immediately, he dropped her hand. "I forgot," he said, blushing. "You need both of your hands to sign." Kintra's eyes widened and Matt explained. "My family's been here for most of the day and I've seen you signing to the Grey's." He grinned and raised his hands. _"I'm in a sign language class at school,"_ he signed. _"It's cool to find someone to test my skills out on."_

Kintra laughed, but as usual, the action remained silent. She smiled as she slowly signed, _"I'm Kintra. Nice to meet you."_

"Kinny!" someone called. Kintra looked up from Matt to see Kevin standing by the edge of the pool. "Are you alright?"

"_Yes,"_ she signed before Matt could feel guilty once again. _"It was just an accident."_

Kevin nodded. "Okay," he said. "As long as you're not hurt."

"_Thanks!"_ she signed and turned back to Matt. They talked for quite a while, and soon, they ended up getting out of the pool so that they could sit on the edge and talk a little more. Finally, with the sun beginning to set in the distance, both families decided to leave. Matt grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and wrote down his number.

"Here," he said, handing it to Kintra. "If you ever need to call me." Kintra took the number and smiled, not having the heart to tell him that even if she wanted to, she had no way of talking to him once she had called him.

"Come on, Kintra!" someone called, so Kintra waved goodbye and hurried after her family.

She was silent as the Grey family walked back to the bus, not even using her hands to spark conversations like she usually did. Everyone but Nick seemed to notice as he tugged once again on her wet ponytail. "She gave me her number," he whispered conspiratorially.

"_Who?"_ Kintra asked, even though she knew full well who he was talking about.

"Catie," he responded, and the dreamy way in which he said her name made Kintra's stomach churn. "She gave me her number," he repeated excitedly.

"_Do you want me to go into spasms of delight?"_ Kintra signed, looking acidly at Nick.

Nick looked taken back. "What? Why don't you like her?" he asked.

'_Where do I start?'_ Kintra wondered, but she just signed, _"Never mind."_ She brushed past Nick and sprinted the rest of the way to the bus, claiming the bathroom before anyone else. She took a longer shower than necessary, since the chlorine had been washed off in the first ten minutes, and finally stepped out, sure that she couldn't stay in the bathroom any longer. When she stepped out of the bathroom, once again in jeans, a T-shirt and a scarf, she found everyone else dried off and lounging around. Instead of teasing her about taking forever, Joe just shook his head. Kevin looked apologetic, and both the Grey parents looked nervous. Kintra looked from one to the other and finally saw what was the cause of this gloomy behavior.

"Yeah…I know!...So, Saturday night after the concert?...Great…See you then…Bye." Nick flipped the cover back over his phone, ending the conversation, and looked up. He saw Kintra and smiled. "Took you long enough," he teased, saying the words that no one else dared to say.

"_You have date,"_ she signed. It wasn't a question, and it wasn't a statement. It was more of an accusation.

"Yeah," Nick responded slowly. "Do you have a problem with that?"

Everyone seemed to be holding their breath. _**This**_ was the moment for Kintra to tell him. There was no better time than _**this**_ to let him know that she couldn't bear to see him with anyone else. _**That**_ was the moment that she let slip by. _"No,"_ she signed, and turned away, walking stiffly back to her bunk.

She was still waiting for the tears to stop running down her face.


	12. Waiting for Unclenched Fists

"Of all days!" Nick cried, pacing back and forth across the room. Kintra watched him pace, a slightly amused smile on her face. It _did_ look rather comical. Everyone else was sitting perfectly still, trying to figure out a way to correct the problem, and all Nick had been doing for the past few minutes was worrying about how this was going to make him look in front of Catie.

Kintra turned to Joe, grinning. _"He acts like your guitar player could've picked when to come down with appendicitis."_ Joe smiled back.

For the first time, he signed back to her. _"Come with me," _he signed. Kintra stood, mystified, and followed Joe out of the room, glad to be rid of Nick and his exhausting worries.

Joe led her to a back room under the stage where they kept all the instruments. He turned to her almost sheepishly, and said, "Nick told me about how you played the piano. I don't know if this will work, but could you try the guitar?"

Kintra's eyes widened. He wanted her to play with them tonight? She started to protest that her gift couldn't stretch that far, and then stopped. Joe was looking at her so intently that she couldn't refuse to at least try, could she? _"I'll try,"_ she signed hesitantly, _"but I'm not promising anything."_

She took the guitar that Joe handed her and slipped the guitar strap over her shoulder. Her fingers stroked the strings, listening as each one made a different sound. She reached the lowest string and grimaced. Joe glanced at her face, curious, so she signed, _"Out of tune."_ Her fingers fiddled with the peg as she tuned the string to her liking while Joe watched her, awed. She then played each string while sliding her fingers down each fret to hear the different sounds they made. Once she reached the end of her assessment, she turned to Joe. _"What song?"_ she signed.

Joe shrugged. "Whichever one you want," he said.

Kintra started off with 'That's Just the Way We Roll', playing through the whole song with a few embellishments of her own, and then transitioned into 'Just Friends'. Joe watched as sadness crept into her eyes, overshadowing the joy that had been there previously. He knew that she was thinking about Nick, and his new crush. Once she'd finished playing as though she'd played for years, Kintra looked back at Joe. _"You were right,"_ she signed, almost in defeat. _"I'm in love with him."_

Joe put his arm around her shoulder, even though the guitar between them made it awkward, and said, "He'll come around. Right now, he's just blind." He smiled and tapped her forehead. "But for now, how about we go knock his precious socks off with your ability?" he asked.

"_Do you really think I can play?" _Kintra asked, nervous.

"Of course you can!" Joe responded. "You just played like you've been playing for years."

"_It helps when you feel the music in your head," _Kintra responded humbly.

Joe laughed. "I guess it does," he replied. "I guess it does."

The two friends walked back to the room where that family was, and Nick practically jumped on them when they entered. "Where've you been?" he asked. "We were supposed to go into Lockdown five minutes ago!"

Joe raised his hands, warding off Nick's comments. "Chill," he told his brother. "Kintra and I had a little experiment to do." He looked over at his parents, grinning. "If you guys don't mind, we have a substitute player." He inclined his head toward Kintra and Nick gasped.

"Her?" he asked. "How?"

Joe shrugged. "You told me about how she played the piano so easily, so I asked if she could try it with the guitar as well. She plays like she's been doing this for years."

Kevin stood, smiling down at Kintra. "Welcome to the band," he said.

* * *

Kintra's legs were shaking as she scrambled to take her place, Kevin guiding her under the cover of the darkness that the stadium had created. The screams of the audience were deafening and Kevin could only give her hand a comforting squeeze before he was forced to disappear once more. Kintra slipped the guitar strap over her head, settling it over her shoulder. She looked to her left and saw the Connect 3 bass player giving her an encouraging nod. Nervously, her hand tugged on her black scarf, pulling it a little tighter.

The drums began their roll, and Kintra's heart leapt once again. Her hands shook as she pulled out the pick Kevin had given her, curling it into her right index finger. The bass player gave her another nod, the signal to start counting the bars, and then the lights came on. At first, all the bright strobes were blinding, and Kintra kept her head down, concentrating on the guitar in her hands, even though the action was unnecessary. She heard the roar of the crowd and forced herself to look up. The stadium was packed! Kintra could barely see past the first couple of rows, but she could see all lights from the glow sticks and the cameras as they sparkled even from the top level of the stadium. She bit her lip, her fingers flying across the strings, and then the boys came on.

If Kintra had thought that the noise was deafening in the beginning, now it was ear-splitting! The boys took it in stride, though, and Kintra caught Nick's encouraging wink as he passed by her. She smiled, knowing that he was trying to apologize for the way he'd been acting, and knowing that he was there, close to her, made all of her fears float away. Her playing became louder, more embellished, and more confident-sounding. Song after song, she continued to rock the stage. Nick stepped onto her riser to play with her during one of their last songs, their guitars humming in synch with each other, and the crowd exploded.

Finally, and in Kintra's opinion, too soon, the concert wound down to its final song. Realizing that this would be her last chance to have this much fun on stage, Kintra let loose. Since, the boys had told her that she could do whatever she wanted by way of embellishments as long as she stuck to the melody of the song, Kintra kept the melody loosely in there, but played straight from her heart. The guitar whined in her hands, stressing her happiness and cheerfulness to a whole new level. The spotlight came to rest on her, both figuratively and literally, and Kintra found that she didn't mind. She happily played through the end of the song and finished right along with everyone else.

The crowd erupted once more for a ridiculously long time. Kintra briefly wondered if their hands ever started hurting. Her cheeks sure were, for she hadn't stopped smiling. The boys made their bows, and then, they turned their backs to the audience, motioning for Kintra to step down. Her legs shook, but she made it safely down to where the boys were standing, smiling at her.

"Let's give a huge round of applause for our friend, Kintra Philips!" Nick cried. The crowd answered with a large round of applause, and Kintra bowed. "Without her," Nick explained, putting his arm around her shoulders, "this show would not have been possible. Thank you so much, Kinny." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and Kintra smiled, desperately trying to hide the blush on her face and the fact that her heart had just melted into a pile of slush. She saw something on Nick's face that was hard to read, but brushed it off. Smiling, she hugged the other two boys and went back to her place on the riser.

The stage went black once more and the bass player guided Kintra down safely. She smiled her thanks and then disappeared backstage. Almost immediately, her smile faded. There, standing in the circle of Nick's arms, where Kintra herself so desperately wanted to be, stood Catie. Nick's back was turned to Kintra, so Kintra had an undisputable view of the haughty smirk Catie shot her way before she hugged Nick tighter.

Kintra was still waiting for her fists to unclench.


	13. Waiting for the Courage

The night after the concert, Kintra kept tossing and turning. Her excitement had yet to wear off, and it was beginning to bother her. Finally, she slipped out of her bunk, trying not to disturb Nick, who slept under her, and headed out to the kitchen/living room on the bus. Since it was dark, Kintra used her hands to guide her, feeling for sharp edges that she might run into. She stepped down from the small kitchen space and found herself in the little living room. Her hand reached out and connected with the smooth material of the couch and she sat down, sighing.

"You could turn on a light, you know," said a voice. Kintra jumped, not having seen anyone because of the darkness. A light flickered on, illuminating the living room, and Kintra saw Kevin, completely dressed, sprawled out on the couch. He smiled at her. "Did I scare you?" he asked. Kintra had never been one to lie a lot, so she nodded. He chuckled and said, "Sorry about that. Couldn't sleep?"

Kintra shook her head. _"Too excited,"_ she signed, blushing slightly. _"Is that silly?"_

Kevin shook his head. "No, it's not. Shows can be exciting, but you'll want to try and get some rest. Tomorrow we have an interview to do, and their people asked if you'd come along."

Kintra frowned. _"Why me?"_ she asked. _"I'm nothing special."_

"Sure you are," Kevin said. "You played like nothing I've seen before, and you're a girl."

"_Why does that have anything to do with this?"_ Kintra asked, confused.

"Because we're a _boy_ band," Kevin explained. He tapped his knee, and Kintra noticed that he was actually tapping a notebook. "I usually try and write stuff down about the concert, just in case. You never know what the interviewers are going to ask you." He smiled at Kintra. "At least you can take a moment longer because you'll have to have one of us translate."

Kintra smiled back. _"What might they ask?"_ she signed.

"Anything from 'What do you eat for breakfast?' to 'Share your deepest, darkest secret with us.' My advice: Ignore the deepest, darkest secret part. It won't be very secret after that." He smiled. "We'll, I'd better get to bed. Don't stay up too late."

Kintra smiled at her friend. _"Yes, mom,"_ she teased. Kevin chuckled and flicked off the light. When Kintra's eyes had adjusted, she realized that she was alone. She closed her eyes, thinking about what Kevin had said, and before she realized it, a new day had begun.

* * *

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen," the host said amid the roars of the audience. "Today, we have four very special guests with us. We've heard that one of them is very shy, so please give her a big round of applause. It's Connect 3 and their friend, Kintra Philips!"

Kintra followed Nick out onto the stage, her fingers itching to tug on her scarf, a nervous habit that she had picked up. She let them inconspicuously fiddle with her jeans instead and smiled pleasantly at the crowd, who was clapping excitedly, more for the brothers, she was sure, than for her. Nick placed his hand on her waist, guiding her to a chair next to his, tickling her when he was sure that no one could see. She smiled at him, thankful that he was so encouraging. Turning to the host, she shook hands with him politely and mouthed 'hello' so that he would not think that she was rude.

When the clapping had died down, the host began. "Nick, Joe, Kevin, nice to have you back on the show, and Kintra!" he smiled pleasantly. "So lovely to meet you!"

"_Thank you,"_ she signed. "_Lovely to be here."_ Nick, who was sitting next to the host, translated for her.

"Now, Kintra," the host said, settling back in his chair as though this was going to be a long interview, "how did you meet the Connect 3 boys?"

"_Mrs. Grey, their mom, is my sign language teacher,"_ Kintra responded.

"And why do you need a sign language teacher?" the host asked.

Kintra stiffened, the words bringing the accident back in a whole, fresh way, but she bravely answered, _"I was recently in a car crash and lost the use of my vocal cords. Mrs. Grey knew my nurse, so I was sent to her house."_

"Interesting," the host responded. "Before we get to your amazing playing abilities from last night, I want to ask one more personal question."

Kintra made a face that made the audience laugh. _"Okay…"_ she signed, and Nick comically translated.

"We've done some research, and we've learned that you have leukemia." The statement shocked Kintra. She hadn't been expecting the show to bring up _that_. "How are you living with that?"

"_I'm on my last treatments,"_ Kintra signed, waiting an appropriate time for Nick to translate. _"I go back in a couple of weeks to find out if they've been working, or if I'll have to spend more time getting more concentrated treatments."_

"I see," said the host, not sounding as though he saw at all. "Well, I hope it works out for you. Now, tell us about your ability that you displayed for us last night."

Kintra's hands moved quickly as Nick told the story, adding emphasis in the places where Kintra's facial expressions changed. The host watched the two interact, more interested with the way they responded to one another than the story they were telling. At the end, the host smiled. "Well, we can all see that she's now very talented, despite what she used to be." Everyone laughed and Kintra grimaced, once again remembering her failure at the violin. "We have one more question for Kintra," the host said, and then we'll move on to the Grey boys. He looked right at Kintra, a barely detectable smirk on his face, and asked, "We know from what you've said that the Grey boys are all very special to you, but is there one that's more special than the others?"

Kintra signed something and Nick laughed. At a raised eyebrow from the host, he explained. "She said, 'Special as in they need help, or special as in they're amazing?'" The audience laughed, but the host didn't look overly amused.

After pausing for the laughter to die away, Kintra continued. _"They're all special in their own ways. Kevin is like an older brother to me. He's always there for comforting. Joe is, well, Joe."_ The audience laughed and Joe gave Kintra a withering glance. _"Kidding!"_ she signed._ "He's amazing. He's the one who showed me that my talent stretched further than just playing the piano. And Nick,"_ she smiled at Nick, who smiled back, waiting for what she had to say. _"Nick is my closest friend. I can tell him anything, and most of the time, it doesn't even have to be in words. We communicate with each other through music. He's great."_ The audience "awwwed" and Kintra smiled.

The host nodded. "Thanks Kintra," he said gruffly and then turned to the boys. "Now, it's your turn," he said, and the interview continued.

* * *

Afterward, Joe caught Kintra's elbow before she could get into the car. "Anything?" he asked, referring to her comment about telling everything to Nick.

She shrugged, but made no comment.

Kintra was still waiting for the courage to tell Nick how she felt.


	14. Waiting for the Pain to Ease

"Everyone, this is my _**girlfriend**_."

The statement almost made Kintra faint, and if Kevin hadn't been standing next to her, grabbing her elbow in time, she would've ended up on the floor. Instead, she stared at Nick, his arm slung casually around Catie, and she felt herself start to tremble. She bit her lip so that she would not cry as everyone murmured half-hearted congratulations. Nick barely seemed to notice, but Catie was glaring, put out that no one was jumping for joy. Eventually, Nick noticed.

"Why do you guys not seem happy?" he asked.

Mrs. Grey spoke up before anyone could give the real reason behind their disappointment. "It's just so sudden," she said. "You've only been dating for two weeks."

"So?" Nick asked with a defiant lift of his chin.

"So I'm just wondering if it might be too soon," Mrs. Grey responded. She hastily looked over at Catie and said, "No offense to you, my dear."

Nick huffed slightly as he took Catie's elbow, intent on guiding her out of the tour bus. "Well," he said, glancing over his shoulder. "I think that I'm old enough to make my own decisions. We're going out to the movies," he said. "Don't wait up."

The door to the bus had almost closed when Mrs. Grey called to her son. "Remember that tonight's a school night. Don't be out too late."

"I won't," was the curt, icy reply.

"Do you have your science project completed?" his mother asked, trying to remind him that he still hadn't finished it.

"Yes, mom," he said with a sigh. "Goodnight."

The door closed behind him and Mrs. Grey shook her head. She turned around to her family and shrugged. "I tried," she said.

Kintra's stomach felt tight as she sat there. Nick's arm around Catie's waist bothered her. She briefly wondered what it might have felt like to have that same arm around her, but she brushed the thought off. Thoughts like that were only ways to get hurt. She stood, slipping out the door when no one was looking, and sitting down on the tour bus steps. She would _not _cry. Yet, a tear, unbidden, slid down her cheek and was absorbed by her scarf, leaving only a wet track as evidence.

"Please don't cry," Joe said, coming down the steps to sit next to Kintra. He used a finger to wipe the wet trail off her cheek, tickling her in the process.

"_I don't understand,"_ Kintra signed. _"I've tried so hard to forget about my feelings. I've done everything I could to push them back, to get rid of them. Why can't I get rid of them?"_

Joe smiled sadly. "Because you truly love him." He shook his head. "I don't know what my brother sees in that girl he has latched onto him, but it's obvious that he's running from something. I saw the way he looked at you during the concert." Kintra turned to look at her friend, surprised. "You didn't?" he asked. "Well, both Kevin and I did." He turned to her, very serious. "You need to tell him."

"_But he has a girlfriend!"_ Kintra protested.

Joe shook his head stubbornly. "You still need to tell him how you feel. It's not healthy to keep all your feelings to yourself."

"_Since when did you become so philosophical?"_ Kintra signed, teasing. Joe smiled and stood, helping Kintra back up into the bus.

* * *

That night, Kintra waited and waited for a sound that Nick had arrived back to the bus, but the minutes ticked by with no sign of him. She tossed and turned, worried over the science project that was due tomorrow that he would have no time to put together. Finally, she slipped out of bed, making her way to the living room where all of his supplies were still in the same pile where he had left them earlier. As quietly as she could, Kintra began to put the project together, piece by piece. Nick had already done all the work, so all she had to do was put it all together for him. The task took longer than she thought, and two hours passed before she had put everything to her liking.

Exhausted, she crept back to bed, only to hear the tour bus door creak open slowly, and the sound of Converses squeaking over the floor. Rolling her eyes, Kintra rolled over so that she was facing the wall. Her eyes drifted closed and she was asleep before Nick slid into the bunk underneath her.

Nick had trouble dragging himself out of bed the next morning. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. Staying out late just to spite his parents and Kintra, who'd been giving him these strange looks lately, had not been a good idea. He finally stood and made his way out to the little kitchen to see what was for breakfast. Only then did he notice that everyone was there except for Kintra. "Where's Kinny?" he asked.

Mrs. Grey looked up from her breakfast, and Nick thought that he caught a glance of disapproval in her look. "She's very tired, so I let her sleep. She can do her schoolwork later."

Nick started to protest that he should be allowed to sleep in as well, but then bit his tongue. Maybe Kintra was feeling sick because of the leukemia. "Is it because of her leukemia?" he asked anxiously.

His mom shook her head. "No, she's just tired." There was silence for a little while as everyone ate their breakfasts, until Mrs. Grey said, "I'd like to see your science project, Nick."

With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Nick obediently rose and went to the corner where he had placed his science project. Everything was as he had remembered it, and he gritted his teeth, knowing that a lecture was due. When he opened the board, though, everything was neatly in place. There were his borders and his essays and his samples, all lined up carefully and mounted. "Wha…?" he began.

"Remember?" Kevin asked quickly. "You finished it before you went on your date."

Nick played along, a grin spreading out across his face. "You're right," he said. Without saying anything else, he showed the board to his mom and then finished his breakfast.

"You'd better hurry," Mrs. Grey told him, standing up to clear the table. "You have sound check in an hour."

Nick inhaled the rest of his breakfast and then stood, clearing his dishes. When his mom was out of hearing range, he caught Kevin's sleeve. "Thanks for putting that together for me," he said sincerely.

Kevin gave him an exasperated look. Brushing past Nick, he said, "I didn't do it. I _wouldn't _have done it. Kintra did."

Nick stood still for a moment, unsure of what to do. Finally, he made his way over to his bunk, grabbing the clothes he needed for the day. Peeking over the railing of the top bunk, he found Kintra fast asleep, her eyelashes fluttering as she dreamed. He shook his head, making a mental note to thank her later. Gently, he touched her shoulder, trying not to startle her. "Kinny," he whispered. "You've got to wake up. We need to get to sound check."

Kintra rolled over and opened her mouth, and Nick was sure that if she had had the use of her vocal cords, she would've groaned. He eyes opened slowly and focused on him. She nodded, showing that she was awake, and Nick left to go get ready.

* * *

Once the sound check had been completed, Kintra slipped out of the room and made her way down the hall to another room with a piano. Slowly, her fingers began to brush against the keys, playing the song in her head but making no sound. She closed her eyes and listened to the swell of the music in her head, wishing that she could play it for the world to hear.

"What are you playing?" asked a voice. Startled, Kintra whirled around to find Nick leaning against the door frame of the room, watching her carefully.

"_Nothing,"_ she signed, brushing her deep feelings off.

"Didn't look like 'nothing' to me," Nick prompted. When Kintra didn't say anything, he strode over to the piano and stood next to it, looking down at her. "Why'd you do it?" Instantly, Kintra knew that they were on an entirely different conversation.

"_Do what?"_ she asked, playing innocent.

Nick glared at her. "You know what I mean. Why'd you complete my project for me? Why didn't you just let me fail?" He shook his head. "I know that you don't like Catie, and I know that I was acting terribly last night, so why'd you help me?" He laughed bitterly. "Not even my own brother would help me, so why you?"

Kintra's heart pounded as she took a deep breath. It was now or never. _"Because of this,"_ she said, and began to play the song she'd been thinking of.

The music swirled around the small, soundproof room, bathing it in a sweet, cheerful tone. Nick watched, fascinated, as Kintra played with her eyes closed. She played from her heart. As the song went on, Nick realized that it was a song of feelings. He took an involuntary step back when he realized that it was a song of love. Kintra opened her eyes as the last note resonated throughout the room and looked at Nick, waiting for his reaction.

His face was hard, like granite, and his lips were pressed tightly together. Kintra leaned away from him without thinking, surprised by this reaction to her music. All Nick said was, "I have a girlfriend." Those words broke Kintra's heart.

She was still waiting for the pain to ease when he walked away.


	15. Waiting for the Cheers to End

**A/N: Hey everyone! You all are so awesome to keep reviewing and making me write more! Some have said that this might be a good Joe/Kintra story. Sorry! I've made Nick and Kintra just too perfect for each other. (Once he figures that out, that is.) But I might do something about Joe….hmmm. I'll think about it. Enjoy and tell me what you think!**

To say that everything was strained after that was an understatement. Kintra could barely look at Nick without bursting into tears, and Nick remained stone-faced, furious at his friend for "trying to take him away from his girlfriend." Joe even got into a fist fight with him over it, claiming that it had been his idea for Kintra to tell Nick about her feelings in the first place, which Nick didn't believe. When Joe walked back in through the tour bus door, his nose bleeding and his hand tilted in an odd direction, he looked at Kevin and asked in reference to a joke he had once made, "Remember when I said that we only fist fought twice a day?" Kevin nodded. "Better make that three times."

Nick's birthday came and went with very little celebration. Nick picked Catie up and they celebrated his birthday away from the rest of his family. Kintra asked Kevin to call Matt, whose number she had kept, and consented to going on a date with him. The first night, when he drove in to pick her up, Nick was the one to open the door. His eyes narrowed and he asked, "Can I help you?"

Matt wasn't the least intimidated by Nick's icy manner. "No," he said cheerily. "Actually, I need Kintra's help."

Nick looked confused. "Why would you need Kintra's help?" He almost spit her name out.

"Because she's the only one who can rescue me from the boredom of normal, everyday life." When Nick still looked mystified, Matt sighed. "I'm taking her on a date." Kintra appeared and smiled, signing a goodbye to everyone and brushed past Nick, who stood open-mouthed, watching them get into Matt's car and drive off.

Nick whirled around. "Who let her go out on a date with _him_?" he asked, a furious tone in his voice.

Kevin and Joe were leaning against the doorframe, grinning from ear to ear, not intimidated in the slightest by their brother's fury. Their father raised his hand and wiggled his fingers. "That would've been me," he said. "Matt asked me if he could take Kintra out, and I said yes. Why should you care?"

Nick spluttered for a moment, unsure as to why he _should_ care. Why did he care? "Because she's my friend!" he finally managed, ignoring the strange jealous feeling that was welling up inside of him.

Mr. Grey sat back in his chair, folding his hands over his chest. "Oh really?" he asked. "That's funny. You see, I would've said that she was your enemy by the way you were treating her. She tells you that she has feelings for you, so you completely shut her out of your life? If you weren't interested, then you could've told her gently that you didn't feel the same way. But you didn't. You brushed her off coldly, and we've all had to deal with that from you for almost a month." Mr. Grey paused, trying to catch his breath. "You could've been more caring. She's leaving tomorrow because of you."

"What?" Nick asked, shocked.

He looked over at his brothers and Kevin answered the question. "Can you really blame her?" he asked. "You've treated her terribly. She's only sixteen, Nick. She can only take so much rejection before she gives up and goes home." He shrugged. "She's had enough. She refuses to put up with you and Catie anymore."

As his family left him sitting in the kitchen by himself, Nick tried to formulate his thoughts. He put his head in his hands, groaning as he felt a headache building up in the back of his skull. Why did he always have to be so touchy? Why did everything having to do with Kintra make him on edge? Why did he feel this need to be so close to her all the time, yet when he was, he pushed her away? _"No wonder she's confused,"_ Nick thought._ "I'm more confused than she is."_ He shook his head. He would apologize as soon as she came home. Why did he always seem to be apologizing around her? He groaned. This was all so complicated.

He heard the door slide open and looked up, surprised. There stood Kintra, frozen in place as she stared at Nick. He knew that she was waiting patiently for one of his awful remarks, and the thought made him grimace. Without thinking, Kintra took a step forward. _"Are you alright?"_ she signed. _"Are you hurt?"_

Nick closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. This girl cared for him so much that even when he was treating her horribly, she still showed concern for him. "I'm alright on the outside," he told her. She nodded, looking at the ground and turning to go. "Wait!" he called, causing her to stiffen, "please." She turned and looked at him and he continued. "It seems like I'm always apologizing to you, and I feel awful about that." He stood and stepped forward, taking her hands and making her jump in surprise. "I'm so sorry, Kinny. I've treated you terribly. I shouldn't have acted like that." He looked at her earnestly. "I want you to stay, at least for a couple weeks. I know you have a doctor's appointment in three weeks, so I assume that you'll have to go back for that." He laughed lightly at the shocked look on her face. "No, I hadn't forgotten about your appointment." He looked sheepishly at her. "Will I be forgiven eventually?"

Kintra rolled her eyes. _"Eventually,"_ she signed. The friends smiled and exchanged a hug before heading off to bed.

* * *

"Morning!" Joe called when he stepped into the kitchen the next morning. Everyone, including Nick, responded and Kintra waved. His face fell when he spotted Kintra and he went over, pulling her into a tight hug. "You can't leave us, Kinny!" he cried. "I can't eat! I can't sleep! My world is already falling apart! I'm coming undone at the seams! What would I do without…ooh! Waffles!" He immediately let go of Kintra, brushing past her to look at the plate piled high with waffles. He turned around to see if he had made her laugh, and she was rolling her eyes and her shoulders were shaking with laughter.

"_Before you found your appetite again," _she signed dryly, "_I was going to tell you that I'm not leaving."_ Forks clattered against plates in astonishment and every eye but Nick and his mom's turned to Kintra. She nervously tugged on her scarf before she continued. _"Nick and I had a talk, and I'd like to stay for a couple more weeks. Mrs. Grey said that she wouldn't mind."_ She glared at Joe. "_As to the not sleeping part, you were snoring last night."_

Kintra was still waiting for the laughing and the cheering to die down.


	16. Waiting for Conviction

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here's the next chapter. Let me know what you think! Each time you guys send me a review, I got this ridiculously wide grin on my face**. **Enjoy!**

The two weeks passed quickly for Kintra. She saw very little of Catie, and Nick spent more time with her instead of Catie. She was actually saddened when the time came for her dad to come and pick her up. As she made her round of goodbyes to each of the family members, Kintra felt tears starting to form, and there was nothing she could do about it. Bravely, she signed for everyone to enjoy the rest of the tour, and she would see them in two months for the Christmas break. When she reached Nick, he pulled her into a tight hug and whispered, "I'll miss you." She smiled. She'd been treating him as a friend, nothing more, and the two teens had become even closer, a feat that they would have once deemed impossible.

All too soon, it was time to leave, and Kinta's body felt heavy as she slid into the passenger seat of her dad's compact car. She was no longer bothered by the tiny space, she was just bothered that she had to ride in this particular tiny space, driving away from her friends. The fortunate aspect of having her dad come pick her up was that he was not a big talker. He left her alone, not even asking 'nod or shake your head' questions. Kintra leaned her head back on the seat and tried to relax. She had a long drive ahead of her.

* * *

"KINNY!!" the squeal must have resounded throughout the whole neighborhood as Emma launched herself out the front door of the house and into her sister's braced, waiting arms. Both were grinning at each other, and Kintra signed a very slow greeting to her sister, telling her how much she had missed her. "I've missed you too," Emma responded. "Nick's called, like, five times to see if you were home yet. How did you get so lucky as to have Nick Grey, the cutest member of Connect 3, be your friend?"

Kintra rolled her eyes at the dreamy look on her sister's face. _"It's not all it's cracked up to be,"_ she signed slowly, wishing that Nick were here so that she could sign in a faster, more natural way. _"Plus, he's way too old for you."_ She let the 'cutest member of Connect 3' part fly, because she had no comeback for that one. She was forced to agree with her sister, despite her mental protests.

"Kintra!" Kintra whirled around and flew into her mom's arms, hugging her tightly. After a very long moment, Kintra pulled away. _"I've missed you,"_ she signed sincerely.

"And I've missed you," her mom said, giving her a squeeze. She pushed her daughter back at arm's length and said, "You and your father had better come inside. Dinner's almost ready and then you need to get some rest."

Kintra caught her sleeve before she disappeared into the house. _"Why?"_ she signed once her mom had turned around to face her.

Her mom replied, "The doctor's office moved your appointment up. They said they need to see us tomorrow."

Kintra's face fell and she felt as though she had hit a wall at full speed. That could only mean one thing. The leukemia was back.

* * *

"Philips," the nurse called. "Kintra Philips?" Kintra and her mother stood, nodding to the nurse and following her back into the office. Each examination room was like a carbon copy of the others, and Kintra had been to the office so many times that she was able to identify where each piece of furniture and each model of blood platelets should be. And she was always right.

"Hello, Kintra," the doctor said, stepping in after Kintra had waited a few minutes. "How are you?"

"_I was just fine,"_ Kintra signed while her mom interpreted. The doctor grimaced as he noticed her subtle reference to that past tense.

"Well," he said slowly, ignoring her saddened eyes as she looked at him intently, waiting for the bad news that she knew was about to come. "I suppose that I won't beat around the bush here. The leukemia had not gone away completely. We must continue with further treatments if Kintra is to survive."

"How long will that take?" her mom asked, biting her lip. It was a strain on her maternal instincts to willingly allow her daughter to go through so much pain, and the thought of more extensive treatments made her cringe.

"About a month and a half," the doctor said. "The treatments will make it impossible for her to get up out of bed, but they should work." He paused, stroking his chin. "We could give her less intensive treatments, but they might not work as well."

"_I'll do it,"_ Kintra signed, steeling herself against the knowledge of what she was about to do. She, above everyone else, hated having to lie in bed all day, but she hated the fact that she was diseased even more.

Once her mom had translated for her, the doctor nodded. "Very well," he said. "We have one opening tomorrow."

"We'll take it," Mrs. Philips said resolutely.

* * *

When Kintra returned home, she pulled Emma aside and asked to borrow her cell phone. Flipping it open, she texted a short, sweet message to Matt. **Chat w/ me on web cam?**

Almost instantly, she received a text back. **Absolutely!**

She spent the rest of the night chatting with Matt since the web cam allowed him to see her hands as they fluttered around. By the end of the night, Kintra had set up a date for when she went back to visit the Grey family over Christmas break. He would drive a little ways and she would meet up with him. They would go to the after party for the boys' concert, and then they would see where they went from there. As she signed goodnight, Kintra's chin tilted defiantly. She and Nick were good friends. That was it. That was all they ever would be. End of story.

She was still waiting for herself to be convinced.


	17. Waiting for Breath

Kintra blinked, trying to clear her bleary vision. She groaned and rolled carefully out of bed, watching where she stepped. Now would not be a good time to trip and fall. If she kept bumping into things, she'd be a walking, talking bruise. Her hand crept up to hold her elbow where a new bruise was forming as she stared at the calendar, smiling in spite of her blotchy state. Her treatments were over! They were completed and the doctor seemed hopeful this time. In one week's time, she would be on her way out to Colorado to see her friends. Just thinking about them made Kintra excited. She could hardly wait to see the Grey family once more.

There was a knock at her door and Emma stepped into the room. "Hey," she responded cheerily. She seated herself on Kintra's bed, watching without comment as her sister crossed off another day. "Nick called again."

Kintra turned to glance at her sister. _"Again?"_ she asked, frowning.

Emma shrugged. "Could you really blame him? He wants to know how you're doing. He's worried about you."

"_Why?"_ Kintra asked.

Emma shrugged her shoulders. "Oh I don't know. Maybe because you're his friend?" She smiled. "He told me to tell you that Kevin is dating some really nice girl from their orchestra, and Joe's found a really awesome girl named Christina. They've been dating for a month now, and Nick says that Joe's so in love, he can barely figure out which end of the world is up."

"_Does he care, for that matter?"_ Kintra asked, grinning.

"Doubt it," her sister replied cheerily. She changed the subject, seeing the suitcase lying on her sister's floor. "Got everything packed up for the trip?"

"_Almost,"_ Kintra responded, her face brightening with the prospect of seeing her friends again.

"Well you'd better get ready. Mom asked me to come up here and tell you that your flight leaves at four fifty." Emma strode to the door, smiling as she glanced over her shoulder at her sister. "I wish I could go with you and see their surprised faces."

It was only then that Kintra understood what her sister meant. She was leaving a week early as a surprise for the Greys! Despite her easily-bruised state, Kintra scrambled around the room, grabbing random sets of clothes and shoving them into her suitcase. She checked the clock, realizing that she had no idea what time it was. Two thirty. She had time.

* * *

"Say hi to everyone," her mom called as she let Kintra off in front of the airport. Kintra waved, slightly disappointed that her mom couldn't come with her into the airport. Once the car pulled away, Kintra felt a sense of loneliness. She felt cheered only by the knowledge that the music inside her head was playing just as loudly as before. Who needed an iPod anyway?

Kintra went through all the chains of security and waited for her flight to begin boarding. Once seated, Kintra snuggled into her seat, glancing out the window to her left and smiling. She couldn't wait to see the Greys.

* * *

Airports in Colorado were confusing. Kintra came to that conclusion the minute she stepped off the plane. She felt completely lost, and kept turning in circles until she spotted a sign in the distance that read, "Taxis." Making her way there after claiming her luggage, Kintra paid the valet who hailed the taxi for her, and then instructed the taxi driver as to where she wanted to go, having written the address down on a piece of paper in advance. Once she arrived at the venue, she thanked the driver wordlessly, making her mouth movements over exaggerated, and tipped him. She pulled her luggage out of the taxi and then made her way over to the tour bus that stood in the middle of the snowy, deserted parking lot. She tapped on the door and waited, biting her lip in order to quell her anticipation.

The door opened and Kintra looked up. There stood Nick, his eyes practically bulging out of their sockets as he stared at her. _"Way to make a person feel welcome,"_ she signed sourly.

Those motions brought Nick out of his trance. "KINNY!" he cried, launching himself down the stairs and into his friend's arms. The cry brought the rest of the family out to see, and Kintra was passed from one member to the other. Even Frankie threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"Hello, Kintra." The icy voice broke the happy moment and Kintra turned to find Catie leaning against the tour bus door, glaring at her.

"_Hi," _Kintra waved, trying to be pleasant. Catie threw her hair back over her shoulder and marched away, ignoring Kintra's kind acknowledgment.

Nick put his hand on Kintra's shoulder. "Don't worry about her, Kinny," he said, and the nickname, coming from his lips in a more personal and controlled manner, made Kintra's heart speed up, despite her platonic resolution. "When you have a chance, I need to talk to you." He looked around, seeing his family standing there, and added, "Alone."

Kintra nodded and signed, _"So, where do I sleep?"_

* * *

That night, after Catie had left and dinner had been eaten, Kintra stepped outside and sat down on the trailer steps, gazing up into the sky, which was beginning to turn the color of a deep purple. Kintra smiled as she looked up. '_Looks like my bruises,'_ she thought wryly, rubbing her leg absentmindedly where plenty of bruises had formed. She drifted off in thought, drowning out the music that was her constant companion. She was remembering everyone's happy faces and tight hugs when the door opened behind her.

"Mind if I join you?" Nick asked, stepping in front of her so that he could see her hands. Kintra shook her head, a smile lighting up her face as she scooted over so that Nick could sit down. Without warning, her heart began speeding up again as she felt Nick's shoulder brush against hers.

For a long time, the two teens sat there, absorbed in their thoughts, and staring out into the darkness of the parking lot. _"I missed you all so much,"_ Kintra finally signed, breaking the silence as her hands caught Nick's attention.

That statement seemed to make something click for Nick. He twisted around swiftly to face her fully and took a deep breath. "I have a question for you," he said.

Kintra nodded. _"Shoot,"_ she signed, smiling so that he knew that she was all ears.

"I have this girl," he began, and Kintra immediately thought of Catie. "She amazingly smart, and talented, and she's, like, my best friend." He looked at Kintra to make sure that she had understood all of that. "When I'm near her, I feel this really weird rushing feeling, and my heart starts beating really fast. At first, I tried to ignore it, but it's getting harder and harder to do. All I want to do is be around her, and if she left again, I think my world would fall apart. I want to protect her, and never let her go. I have this amazing connection with her." He smiled a bit shyly. "It's almost like she's the missing piece that I never thought I needed, but I've been totally missing, as cheesy as that sounds." He looked up again. "What would you call that?"

Kintra felt her heart sink. If Nick thought all that about Catie, either he needed glasses badly, or everyone else in the family did. She lowered her head for a moment, pretending to think. She could, no, she _would_ be happy for him. If Catie meant all that to him, then she would do her very best to be glad for them. To be happy for them was a whole other matter.

Feeling in control of her emotions once again, Kintra looked up, only to find Nick's eyes boring into hers. She pasted a smile onto her face and signed confidently, although her hands shook as she did so, _"I believe they call that 'love.'"_ She smiled once again. _"I've heard that it's a rather pleasant thing, although people come down with the weirdest symptoms when they fall in love. When they step into love, that's an entirely different thing."_

She was expecting Nick to smile at her joke, thank her for being so supportive, and leave, but he looked at her curiously, his eyes rapidly moving back and forth, scanning her face as he asked, "Then why am I feeling these things about you?"

Kintra was still waiting for her breath to return after she gasped.


	18. Waiting for Nothing

"Please say something," Nick pleaded. "Anything."

Kintra had been staring at him for a long time, unable to formulate a thought. She raised her hands to sign something, anything, and her hands shook violently. _"I thought you were in love with Catie."_

Nick snorted. "Catie?" he asked. "Catie was my excuse for not liking you. I could never have anything in common with Catie." His face suddenly fell. "All she wanted was the fame that went with dating me." He looked down at his hands, which were entwined in fists. "I tried so hard not to like you, but I couldn't do it. We have this connection through our music that I've never heard of before." He laughed bitterly. "I played Catie a song that specifically said 'I like you,' in the notes, and she had no idea what I had just played." He looked at Kintra, making sure that she was listening. "She didn't understand it. To her, it was a song. To you, it would've been a declaration."

"_Why were you so mad then when I told you that I loved you?"_ Kintra signed.

Nick shook his head. "I wasn't mad," he clarified. "I was trying so hard not to give in." He shook his head. "It would've been so easy, so _natural_, to tell you that I felt the same way about you, but I had to stay faithful to Catie. The thought of having to leave you waiting made me feel awful, so I thought that it might be better to just tell you that I wasn't interested in any way." He smiled ruefully. "We both know how that turned out."

They sat there in silence for a while as Kintra struggled with her emotions. Part of her was screaming for joy. He loved her! Yet, another part was strangely undecided. It argued that he had waited too long; he'd been too undecided for too long. That side argued that, in a way, she'd moved on. Her feelings had been hidden away for so long that they had become accustomed to the tight leash they were on, and felt no desire to leave it.

Nick cleared his throat. "I realize that it might be hard for you to accept," he told her. "I told you that I didn't care at all, and now I want you to return my feelings. I'm sorry if it's so confusing, but I'd like to try and make this work."

Kintra looked up at Nick. _"I don't know,"_ she signed. _"I've spent so long convincing myself that I didn't, couldn't, love you, that now I'm not so sure."_ She raised a hand to ward off any comments from Nick until she had finished. "_I'm not saying no, I'm just not saying yes. Please give me some time."_

Nick nodded. "That seems fair," he said.

"_What are you going to do about Catie?"_ Kintra signed, looking concerned. Even though she didn't like the girl, she still hated the idea of anyone being dumped in such a harsh, abrupt manner.

Nick shrugged. "I'll have to tell her the truth. I'm tired of being a ticket into the 'Hollywood World.'"

Kintra took his hand in hers and patted it gently. _"Please, whatever you do to tell her that you're not interested, please do it gently."_

Nick nodded. "I will."

* * *

Kintra was bothered about going on a date with Matt while Nick was across the room at the same party, but it was Nick who told her that she should still go. "You'll never figure out how you feel unless you give this relationship a try," he had said when she had told him about Matt.

So here she was, dressed up in a pretty blue dress and blue shoes, watching the concert with Matt. She noticed Nick doing his best not to look at her more that necessary, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. _'It sure is uncomfortable,'_ she thought, '_having you best friend, who wants to be your boyfriend, watching you and your friend on your date.'_ She shook her head. The evening could only get better.

Once the concert had ended, everyone went to the after party that was being thrown at a dance club that had previously been rented for the night. The music was blaring, the lights were flashing, and Nick was working his position as the D.J. Matt disappeared to go get some punch, giving Kintra a chance to scan the crowd. She saw Joe dancing with a girl that must've been Christina, and she grinned even wider. They looked perfect together, and Kintra was sure that if he had chosen her, she must be pretty special. She found Kevin twirling another girl, and identified her as one of the musicians in the band. Finally, she found Catie dancing with some guy, and Kintra rolled her eyes. There was no end to this girl's promiscuousness.

"Here's your punch," said a voice, and Kintra turned to find Matt standing there, two small cups of pink punch in his hands.

"_Thank you!" _Kintra signed, glad for once that she could be understood without words. A dance floor was not exactly the place to go if you wanted to have a conversation.

Throughout the night, Kintra danced a little bit with Matt, but danced more with the Grey brothers. Joe pulled himself away from Christina long enough to dancing with Kintra once, and Kevin danced with her twice. Someone replaced Nick as D.J., so he was free to go claim Catie. When he found her, Kintra saw him whisper something in her ear that made her scowl. He offered her his arm and they made their way off the dance floor to one of the tables that had been pushed up against the outskirts of the room. Kintra watched as Nick began talking, and saw Catie's body stiffen. She saw her saying something back to him, but could not see her face completely. Suddenly, Catie stood up, almost knocking her chair over, and flounced away.

Nick sat there with his hands supporting his head for a moment, and then looked up, trying to find KIntra. He found her looking at him, and he nodded. The ball was now in her court.

For the rest of the night, Kintra felt Nick's eyes on her, yet she wasn't the slightest bit uncomfortable. She actually felt comforted knowing that he was looking out for her, even if she didn't have the same feelings for him. Kintra grimaced slightly. By the end of the night, she would have to choose between Matt and Nick.

In the end, it was Matt who made the decision for her. As the evening wound down, Matt offered to escort Kintra outside to wait for Nick when he suddenly pulled her to a stop and pointed. "Look up," he told her. Kintra obeyed and saw, in keeping with all the Christmas traditions, a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the exit door.

She turned and faced Matt, who had an expectant look on his face, and signed deliberately slowly, _"You do realize, don't you, that mistletoe is a parasite because it grows on trees and steals their nutrients, and it is poisonous if ingested by humans?"_ She glared at Matt, angry that he would try and move that far in such a short time with their relationship. _"I can wait for Nick by myself. Thank you for the evening."_ The icy dismissal told Matt that what little there had been of their relationship was now gone, and he hung his head as he walked out the door, never looking back.

Kintra turned around, only to find Nick standing across the room, watching her once again. By the barely concealed mirth on his face, Kintra realized that he had been watching the exchange between her and Matt. With a smile, Kintra wove through the crowd to come and stand in front of Nick. _"I've made my decision,"_ she shyly signed. _"If that's still what you want."_

Nick's smile grew so wide that Kintra couldn't help but smile as well. "Of course that's what I want," he said. His hand reached out to her waist. "May I?" he asked quietly. "I now know better than to wait for mistletoe!"

"_Absolutely,"_ Kintra signed, smiling just as widely. He pulled her close to his chest and bent his head, kissing her lightly, sweetly.

"WOOHOO!!!" someone shouted. Kintra whirled around to find Kevin and Joe slapping high fives. She looked back at Nick and opened her mouth to show that she was laughing. Nick was laughing as well as he pulled her close and kissed her again, his hand winding into her hair to keep her exactly where he wanted her.

Kintra, for the first time in her life, wasn't waiting for anything. She had everything she wanted right in front of her.

**A/N: Well? Did you like it? Tell me what you think!**


	19. Motto

**A/N: First of all, I have to tell you guys how awesome you all are. You've kept me writing furiously, and over 100 reviews? WOW! Thank you all so much! Here's the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy it!  
**

"Open mine!"

"No! Open mine!"

"No, she's gonna open mine first, right Aunt Kinny?"

"But that's not fair! Uncle Nick, tell her to open mine first!"

Nick looked around at all six of the children huddled around his wife, and grinned. He exchanged a look with Kintra and then raised his hands in surrender. "You all are so special, I can't decide who should go first," he teased. "Maybe, if you can't decide between yourselves, I'll have to give your Aunt Kinny her present from me first."

A chorus of 'no's' rose up from the little group and Nick raised his hands in order to silence them. "All right, all right. I'll give your aunt her present later. For now, why don't you go first, Christy."

Christy, one of Joe and Christina's three children, shyly handed Kintra her hand-wrapped package. "It's not very good," she whispered.

Kintra took the lumpy package in her hands, fingering the tag that read, "To Aunty Kinny." _"I'm sure it's wonderful, Christy,"_ she signed. Christy ducked her head shyly nodding to show her aunt that she understood. Every child in the family had started learning sign language at a young age so that no one was forced to translate for Kintra. The children considered it "fun" to be able to talk to their aunt in a different way than any of their other playmates. When there was a "bring a family member to school" day, Kintra was always the one they wanted to come with them.

Kintra unwrapped the little package and pulled out a neon purple mass of yarn. As she unrolled it, she tactfully looked at Christina, using a raised eyebrow to ask what the present was supposed to be. Christina, leaning on Joe's arm, raised her hand and placed it on her neck, drawing it from one side to the other. Even though the action was not a sign language sign, Kintra understood that it was supposed to be a scarf. She smiled and wrapped the confection of yarn around her neck, all the while thanking Christy for her heartfelt gift.

Nathaniel, Christy's brother, went next, and Kintra praised his popsicle frame to no end. Christina had put one of Kintra's favorite pictures of Nathaniel in the frame, and Kintra signed a thank you to Christina for her thoughtfulness. Next came Joey, their youngest boy, and his gift was a picture he had drawn in preschool earlier in the week. What it was, Kintra would never figure out, but she was grateful for it all the same. Brenda, Kevin's little girl, came next, bearing a stuffed doll that her mother had helped her with. Kintra thanked her very much, saying that she would put the doll on her bed when she got home. Kyle, their other child, brought forth a story book that he had made with a copious amount of Kevin's help. Kintra thanked the little boy heartily and then gave him a kiss on the cheek. He spluttered and acted disgusted, but he wore a huge smile all the way back to his seat.

"I'm next!" cried Bradley, Kintra's own little son. She smiled and opened her arms so that he could jump into them and make himself comfortable while she opened his present. Kintra felt him playing with her scarf as she unwrapped the package. Inside, at first, she thought that it was another story book like Kyle's but when she turned the page she found that it was, in reality, a seed book. Every page was a different color of construction paper, and Bradley had crudely drawn what each flower was said to look like, according to the packet taped across from the picture. She hugged Bradley close, giving him a kiss on the cheek, their own special way of saying thank you.

"_Thank you,"_ she signed to Nick, knowing that he had done a lot of work to help Bradley put that together. _"Thank you everyone!"_ she signed slowly so that the children could understand what she was saying. She stood up, her back stiff from having to sit awkwardly for so long, and gingerly stepped over the little children, now happily playing on the floor. She smiled and snuggled up against Nick in her usual spot, and he rested his chin on the top of her head as they watched their son playing happily with his cousins.

"Kinny?" Christina called. Kintra was startled out of her daze-like state.

"_Yes?"_ she signed.

"Could you help me for a moment in the kitchen?" Christina rolled her eyes. "You know how much I love to cook."

Kintra appeared to be giggling silently as she put a hand over her mouth, her eyes shining. Christina was not, under any circumstances except for Christmas, a cook. She followed her sister-in-law into the kitchen, looking back over her shoulder once more, just to take in the happy atmosphere of the day. Kevin was picking up all the wrapping paper that had been carelessly flung all over the room, Joe was lifting Christy high above his head so that she could readjust the angel on the top of the Christmas tree that twinkled with dozens of bright, cheery lights, since she claimed that the angel was no longer straight, Kyle and Bradley were searching under the tree, convinced that there were more presents _somewhere_, and Brenda, in true Brenda fashion, was neatly arranging all of her presents into certain piles and categories within the piles. Nick was patiently listening to Nathaniel as he was analyzing and reiterating each and every step that it had taken to put together his popsicle frame while Joey was rolling his eyes and making faces behind his older brother's back.

Kintra smiled. This was the way Christmas was supposed to be. Her heart ached over the fact that Emma could not be here this year, since she and her husband were traveling around Italy, but she'd promised to be back next year, so Kintra was holding her to that. In the meantime, she would help Christina with the Christmas dinner.

Dinner had been eaten, the children had been herded outside to play in the snow, and only Kintra and Christina were left in the house, cleaning up. Kintra didn't even notice Nick come in until Christina looked up and said with a smile, "I think I'll step outside and make sure that everyone's doing alright."

Kintra turned to sign that that was fine, but she saw Nick standing there with his hands behind his back, and the signs flew out of her head. "I never had a chance to give you your gift," Nick told her, handing her a small box.

"_Nick,"_ she signed, taking the box. _"You shouldn't have."_ She looked up at him suspiciously_. "This didn't come from Paris, did it?"_ The Connect 3 tour had recently been in Paris, and Kintra wanted nothing to do with some high-end gift. Last time, she had broken the seal on an expensive necklace that Nick had bought her, and when she told him to return it because it was too expensive, he had gravely told her that it was too late to do that. She'd already broken the seal on the box. From that point on, she'd learned her lesson: always ask first.

Nick chuckled. "Well, I got it in Paris, but it wasn't terribly expensive."

Kintra opened the box without making him explain further. There was no seal on it, so Kintra took that as a good sign. Inside was a delicate gold bracelet with an equally delicate engraving on it. Kintra tilted it toward the light so that she could read it. It read, _**"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people are together for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."**_

Kintra looked up at her husband, her eyes shining. _"Our motto,"_ she signed. Nick nodded and helped her slide the bracelet onto her wrist. _"Thank you,"_ she signed. _"It's beautiful. I love it."_ She smiled at him. _"I love you."_

Nick grinned back and said, "Always a nice declaration to hear." His eyes twinkled with mischief as he pulled something out from behind his back. "I brought you a toxic, parasitic plant in the hope that I might have better luck with it." He pulled the spring of mistletoe out from behind his back and Kintra opened her mouth in silent laughter.

She pulled his head closer to hers and signed, _"You're an exception."_

And as they kissed, the light from the kitchen bounced off the bracelet on Kintra's wrist, reflecting the words that bound them together forever. They had not fallen in love when they had first met each other, but their love had grown through the special, musical bond that they shared. The words on the bracelet were their story. Their motto.

**A/N: It's over! What did you guys think? I love hearing from you! Hope you enjoyed their story as much as I did! Feel free to PM me and give me some suggestions for future stories as well!  
**


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